


Behind the Yellow Tape

by cjbloomfield



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: (kinda), Barson, Drabble Collection, F/M, Family Feels, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Holidays, Smutty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 22,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23094316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjbloomfield/pseuds/cjbloomfield
Summary: A collection of Barson drabbles/ficlets, cut scenes from my fanfictions/one-shots, and some things I write for fun.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 94
Kudos: 152





	1. We Need to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick cute and quirky Drabble

Rafael saunters into Olivia’s office, wanting to have lunch with his wife before his office hours commence. Olivia looks up, the color immediately draining from her face.

“Liv? Are you okay, darling?” Rafa raises one of his brows in worry.

“Babe, _we need to talk._ ” Her voice is gravely serious and low. The worry fills his chest, and he closes the door behind him, shutting the blinds, he steps to the other side of her desk, falling to his knees, taking her hands in his own.

“You’re scaring me, Olivia.” A small smile barely noticeable on her face.

“You can’t do this to me, Rafa.” She bites her lip. “You have to pick. Beard. Gym. Or turtle necks. You can’t have all three in public, one glance at you and I immediately want to jump your bones.” She chuckles to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will keep adding chapters to this as I write, edit, and come up with more ideas. There will be more than 4 chapters but this is what I have for now!


	2. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These next three chapters are excerpts from "Heaven Is a place on earth when I'm with you" that may or may not make it into the book!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: BAD Smut ahead..

Between managing the stress their work entails, raising a family, while trying to deal with their youngest daughter being bullied and physically afflicted, their sex lives had been put on the back burner for the last few weeks and the couple had been feeling the frustration and want.

Rafael flips their position, pushing his wife down onto the bed. Olivia hits the mattress and bounces, a girlish laugh escaping her lips before she can stop it.

Rafael locked his knees on both sides of Olivia’s hips, her legs were straightened, if he sat up he’d be straddling her lap. Her wetness, pooling onto the mattress beneath her. Rafael smirks down at his wife, as he brushes the tip of his cock against her sensitive bundle of nerves.

A gasp escapes her lips, “Rafi!” She jolts, her hips leaving the mattress. Watching his wife squirm turned him on, he decided to carry on with the teasing; he took his cock in his right hand pushing the tip against her clitoris once again, this time rubbing it up and down with vigor, he uses his free hand to grip Olivia’s breast, shooting a wave of stimulation directly to her core as he fondles her erect rosy nipples.

Olivia’s labored breath and squirming hips made his cock harden even more.

“Raaaafi please,” she pleads for relief.

Rafael spread her thighs apart, she quickly wrapped her legs around his thighs, sitting up straight, he continued his ministrations, speeding up the movements of his shaft against her clitoris until she could not bite back her moans any longer. The sounds of pleasure quickly filled the room. Olivia’s body is rocked with vibrations and a warm feeling soon overtook her-she can swear she’s seeing stars.

The desire in her only deepening, she pushes her husband onto his back and takes the plunge. Olivia threw her head back and began riding him in earnest. His hands moved to her hips to hold her in place, as he assisted in lifting her up to thrust deeper. Olivia cums so hard she can feel the tears searing behind her eyelids-the motion of her husband’s hips is so erratic it feels like she'll never come down from this high. Olivia feels as if her chest is on fire, as she is she gasping for air and grasping for reality when Rafael’s hips stutter, and he joins her over the edge. Rafael’s lips capture her own, stifling their moans, not wanting to alarm their children. Sighing happily into the kiss, Rafael moves his arm under his wife so she is now halfway on top of him. Eventually, Olivia pulls away and lays on his chest so that his chin was touching her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mediocre-bad smut for this chapter and the next!


	3. Erotica and Relaxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2/3 excerpts from, "Heaven is a place on Earth, when I'm with you"
> 
> — mature scene ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I wrote this, but here it is.

A good book and a warm bath are _all_ Olivia desired after such a strenuous day of being a mother and a commanding officer.

With her bathrobe tied tightly around her waist, wearing nothing but her birthday suit underneath, Olivia leaned against the headboard; giving her mature books a break-not in the mood for Faustian Deals or Chopin’s critique on 20th-century feminism, or the lack thereof- Olivia picked up Fifty Shades Freed, a guilty pleasure she doesn’t often let herself indulge in; as a mother, a wife, but most importantly as the commanding officer of Manhattan SVU.

Olivia never saw the movies, she couldn’t actually imagine seeing the grit of the pages her eyes bask upon coming to life on the big screen.

After reading a few pages, Olivia couldn’t quash the damp heat brewing in between her thighs. After completing the whole chapter, Olivia couldn’t deny herself the relief her body so demanded to be felt. Her fingers slowly found their way to her sensitive bundle of nerves, pushing the book off the edge of the bed as she spread her legs further apart, Olivia’s fingers made slow steady circles, shooting electric currents of bliss to different parts of her body. Her fingers sped up, the only thing her brain could focus on is the pleasure shooting throughout her body.

Olivia couldn’t hear the footsteps approaching her door over her labored breathing. Eyes locked shut as she envisioned her husband’s mouth in between her legs rather than her own fingers.

On the brink of the precipice, Olivia allows herself to tumble over the edge; her body still shaking from the orgasm, Olivia manages to open her eyes seeing her husband watching her with dark hooded eyes and a growing bulge in his pants.

Olivia springs to her feet, a gasp escaping her lips, she turns her back to Rafael out of sheer embarrassment. In an attempt to conceal herself from his desire filled gaze Olivia’s quivering fingers attempt to tie the belt of her robe around her waist once again.

“Liv,” Rafael speaks, his voice husky and dangerously low. He reaches his arms out, sliding the robe off of Olivia’s shoulders. The robe is puddled at her feet.

Suddenly, a set of hands were on her hips, running round to her bare stomach as kisses were peppered over the back of her neck. Olivia turned to face him, with a dark look in her eyes; she immediately drops to her knees, pulling his pants and boxers down to his ankles. He held her hand as she went to cup his balls, “Liv...” the desire thick in his voice.

“I want you to do your worst to me, baby...anything you need to get you there.” Olivia runs her tongue along the length of his cock. Feeling the inspiration of E. L. James coursing through her, “I want to cough every time I go to swallow for the next week.” She spoke before swallowing his cock whole, bobbing her head slightly, she plays with his balls.

“Oh, Jesus, Liv!” Rafael throws his head back. After swirling her tongue around the tip of his cock, she takes his full length into her mouth, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

The eye contact hardens his cock even more in her mouth, she slightly gags. The warm feeling cascades through his body, and before he registers his actions his hips begin to thrust deeper into Olivia’s mouth. His thrust spare no expense, Olivia’s heat grows in her core, imagining how good his merciless thrusts would feel inside of her wet folds.


	4. Groupies Gone Rouge?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3/3 excerpt from "Heaven is a place on Earth, when I'm with you" they don't have to be read together they're all stand-alone pieces, but I would actually really like it if you checked out, "Heaven is a place on Earth, when I'm with you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a giggly mood when I wrote this so I hope it makes someone smile!

**“Olivia! Have you been sending obscene letters to my office?”**

“Why would I send obscene letters to your office when I can say obscene things to your face? Send you obscene text messages with very obscene pictures.” She smirks.

“Liv. This isn’t the time to joke. Are you sending me letters?”

“Rafa, why would I send you letters? Is it 1919? Am I describing all the things I’m going to do to you once you get back from the war?”

“Seeing as you were alive in 1919, this doesn’t leave much room for jokes.”

“Ah. The old jokes once again I see you want to sleep in the pool house.” She gave him a tight-lipped smile, her eyes blank.

_Shed._ The pool house was the shed outback.

She thought to prep his neck pillow so he didn’t get a knot in his neck out there.

“Liv,” he fails to bite back a smirk. “You know I love you no matter how much olderyou are than I.”

“Two years.” She emphasized.

“I can’t be at fault for you robbing the cradle.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“In our line of work, no essence of that joke is funny.” She grimaced. “But the way life expectancies work, you’ll croak first.” She beamed, mock victory written all over her face.

“And you’ll follow soon after. Whatever would you do without the love of your life?”

“Call Tucker and see what he’s up to, if he’s not dead, that is.”

“Is he not dead from old age already? Was that not a senile man? A vile specimen on the brink of death by natural causes when you two were cahootaling.”

“That’s not a word.”

“Cahootaling, verb. To kiss. To cuddle. To hook up. To snuggle. Adverb to canoodle, to cajole.”

“Someone please remind me why I married you.” She pinched the bridge of her nose in slight exasperation.

“Because you love me.” Rafael moved Olivia’s thumb and index fingers away from her nose. He slowly inches closer to kiss the tip of her nose, both her cheeks and then squarely on the lips.

“Didn’t this conversation stem from your accusal of your dear wife sending you smutty letters?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes. Before I made you question our contractual bind.” He smiled. “There’s no way out of that, other than death, by the way. Just a quick reminder. For your ever-growing bounty of knowledge.” Rafael pulled eight folded pieces of paper out of the interior of his suit jacket.

“That can be arranged.” Liv teased, as she pulled on her reading glasses, quickly skimming over the content of the letters. Her eyes widened. “You’re right. These are obscene.” She admitted. “These aren’t from me.” She flipped to the next page casually.

“They aren’t?” His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“Rafael. I birthed your children and come home to tuck them in every night. Why would I possibly send you a letter begging you to fuck me? We obviously have that under lock and key.” She bemuses.

“Olivia. If you aren’t sending me these letters, who is?”

_“At dusk, rise from your slumber, and think of me. My fingers running through my slick heat. The sweat glistening against my olive skin. My taut nipples wishing for your lips-to be surrounded by your warmth. Close your eyes and think of me too.”_ Olivia’s eyes travel from the letter to her husband’s face.

“That’s it. I’m fattening you up. No more three-piece suits. No more suspenders, turtle necks, trench coats, or sweaters. You look too good in them.” She folds the papers back up, sliding them into her back pocket. “Definitely no more black. Or burgundy. Or lavender. Or shades oftan.”

“Liv. It’s New York. And that’s half my closet. What exactly am I supposed to do?”

“Barefoot and pregnant? No, house arrest until your groupies learn to control themselves and to respect your wife.” She patted her husband’s chest lightly, taking her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...I wrote this months ago, and obviously the Tucker joke did not age well.


	5. The Sweetest and Most Gentle Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incomplete chapter from HPEWIWY that completely got scrapped and rewritten in a fluffier/happier way.
> 
> *****mentions of self-harm*****

“Daddy?” A sudden pressure on his torso alerts Rafael to the extra entity in his bedroom.

“Hmm?” Fighting to open his eyes, “Demi?” Blinking the sleep and confusion out of his green orbs, he shuffles his head in her direction, she is comfortably sat on his belly button, knees planted on both sides of his waist. “Yes, bebécita?” Rafael cranes his neck toward the clock on his bedside table.

Demi takes it upon herself to crawl the length of his torso, laying her head on her father’s left shoulder. “Daddy, your face is...fuzzy?” The silent vibratos ricocheting into the warm skin of his right shoulder, Rafael recognizes his wife’s presence-buried under the covers and melted into his right side.

“Is that what you woke me up at 5 AM to tell me mi amor?” Rafa silently chuckles.

“No...” she sighs stealthily, “I tried to wait up for mommy but...I never heared her come in.” She shifts closer into the crook of his neck. “I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. I came in here twice lookin’ for mommy but I couldn’t find her.”

Olivia shuffles under the covers on the opposite side of her husband- her presence still unknown to Demi, scrambling to find her underwear and her husband’s discarded t-shirt from their rendezvous earlier in the night.

“I just feeled so sad, I couldn’t wait for mommy anymore and I didn’t want to wake Rosie. I hope you’re not mad I woked you so early.” The exhaustion, evident in her voice. Rafael could practically hear the erratic thoughts swooshing through her brain.,

“No, bebé, never mad at you for waking me up.” He kisses her hair.

“Mmm, momma’s baby girl? What’s wrong?” Olivia rose from under the covers once finally decent.

“Mommy?” Demi scrambles to get in between both her parents.

“Yes, baby. I’m here. What’s going on?” Olivia peered down at her daughter.

“The boys are back-the bullies. They-they threatened me and I’m scared. That’s why I wanted to talk to Momma.” Demi admits with a tearful sigh.

“What’d they say, Demi?” Olivia rolls on her side, pulling Demi closer to her chest.

Demi melts into her mother’s warmth, grasping her father's hand to feel safe, _here_ , wrapped up in their loving and protecting energy, “If I tattle tell on them again they’ll beat up Noah and Rosie real bad—and when we least 'pect it too—they’ll hold me and force me to watch.” Demi whimpers. Her words and thoughts all jumbled together into word soup once they leave her lips.

Olivia and Rafael stare into each other’s eyes in disbelief

Those _little fuckers_ are going to pay

Olivia so consumed by her thoughts she nearly misses her daughter’s voice breaking through the silence of the bedroom.

“ Nana was sad…because I’ve been hiding the truth about the bullies coming back...and-and-she found out that-that-that I…”

“That you what?” Rafael prompted his youngest daughter.

“Nana catched me...catched me hurting myself...” Olivia shut her eyes, inhaling slowly. She wrapped her arms snuggly around her daughter pulling her in so closely they could both feel their hearts beating against each other’s chest. Rafael turned on his side, wrapping his arms around his wife and daughter.

He’d been choking back a sob, his heart might as well been physically bleeding with the discovery of this new information.

Rafael shut his eyes, he couldn’t get the sight of a barely conscious Olivia soaking in mirky pink water out of his mind. Her mouth slightly agape, one bleeding wrist hanging over the edge of the tub, the thick red liquid trailing down her wrist, the other one tucked just under her breast. The image of his then-girlfriend fighting for her life broke him.

_Somehow this hurt worse_

_His daughter_

_His baby girl, Demi_

Demetria Noële Barba - the sweetest and most gentle soul.

“I always feel _so_ sad and _so so_ guilty. The boys at school tell me to kill myself. They tell me that if I just end it all I’ll make life easier for Rosie and Noah. They promised that if I-I did it they’d never mess with them again, they’d make sure no one ever messed with Luca either. _They promised_.” Demi emphatically vindicates her decision.

“Oh, Demi. My sweet sweet baby girl.” Olivia sniveled into her daughter’s hair.

“They gave me a penknife on Friday and told me to hold up my end of the deal,” Demi spoke so softly, her parents were straining to hear anything over the shame and desperation laced in her voice.

How could anyone want to hurt their precious little girl? The girl who only wants the best for everyone, even those who don’t deserve it.

“After knittin’ Abuelita went to start dinner so I snuck off to the bathroom and I stared at the knife. I just started cuttin’ my tummy up...I couldn’t stop, I was crying but I couldn’t stop. There was blood all over my tummy and the next thing I knew Abuelita opened the door and gasped. She fell to her knees and cried. She threw me in the shower with all my clothes still on and she sat in the tub with me and rocked me as I cried.”Olivia bit back a gasp.

“I am doing better mommy I swear! I don’t wanna die!” Demi shook her head profusely. “Can you just tell them I’m dead? Please, Mommy! They’ll believe you.” Demi sobs, “I can’t go back to school! I don’t wanna die! I wanna spend time with mommy n’ daddy. I wanna grow up with Rosie. I wanna be there for Luca when he needs me. I wanna joke around and play with Noah. I don’t wanna die but I don’t want my brother and sissy to get hurt because of me.”

“Demi. My sweet angel, please listen to me.” Olivia soothes her child, who is shaking with sobs.

Rafa pulls her closer, attempting to calm her down with his humming.

“Demi, you are not going to die. Papí and I will not let those bullies hurt you or your siblings.”

“We’re going to get those boys expelled, we’ll file an order of protection for you, and a restraining order for the entire family. How does that sound?” Rafael asks Demi looks up at him hesitantly. “How about next year, Mami and I enroll you and your siblings in your Abuelita’s school? You can’t start at that school until September would you like to go to Guidepost Montessori in Brooklyn Heights?"

“Will Abuelita be there to protect me?” Her big doe golden brown orbs plead with her father's green ones.

“Yes, baby. Abuelita is the principal. She runs the whole show. We have to talk to your siblings about switching schools.” Demi nods tiredly.

“We’re going to protect you, no matter what it takes, baby girl, I promise you.” Olivia proclaims as Demi falls victim to the exhaustion consuming her body.


	6. Noah Pops the Big Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a crisp Sunday afternoon, Noah asks all the right questions.

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah looks up from the trail, his big blue doe eyes toggling between the pathway in front of him and how his mother’s fingers interlocked with his favorite uncle’s.

On a crisp Sunday afternoon, the three set out to stroll through the park, the two elder members of the group hand and hand, positioned behind Noah, who is mindlessly peddling away on his new big boy bike featuring fire red training wheels to match his flame-colored protective helmet, elbow, and knee pads.

“Yes, Noah?” Rafael’s green eyes land on Noah’s big blue ones.

“Are you gonna be my dad?” As if announced, the couple and Noah simultaneously stopped moving.

Noah’s feet stopped peddling as his fingers nervously fiddle with the strap on his helmet.

Olivia’s grip on Rafael’s hand subconsciously tightens. Rafael takes a moment, inhaling and reeling courage from the warmth emanating from his love’s hand. He looks into Olivia’s eyes and the ghost of a smile lingers on her face.

“Well, Noah...” Raf swallows thickly, the words scrambling in his mind before they reached the tip of his tongue. He crouches down to eye level, “Is that something you’d want, amigo?”

Noah hesitantly nods, “yes,” he murmurs.

“Then yes, I’m going to be your dad because I love you and your momma.” He smiles wholeheartedly.

“Does that mean you’ll stay? And not have to leave at the end of the day?” Noah tilts his head to the side, eyes wide with excitement.

“You want me to live with you?” Rafael’s smile

“Yes please!” Noah’s tiny four-year-old body bounces in excitement.

“Well, only if your mom is okay with it, amig- _mijo_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not connected to anything, I got inspired to write this little drabble one day when my family and I were working out on a trail right by our house and saw a little boy, no older than four, riding his bike with his mom and dad walking behind him holding hands.


	7. Rita & Raf Walk into a Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia walks into a Forlini's hoping to find the man she's been seeing for the past two months when she sets eyes on Rafael and Rita having, what seems to be a romantic lunch date, but before she excuses her exit, she’s spotted.

“Olivia!” Rita waves, calling her over.

“Oh, hello. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She scratches the back of her neck.

“Did you come here looking for someone?” Rita tilts her head a smirk plastered on her face.

“Um,” she eyes Rafael, once their eyes meet she looks away immediately. “Yes...” she clears her throat, “but not really!” She quickly adds. “I didn’t know you two were...involved?”

“NO!—No, absolutely not.” The attorneys spoke simultaneously.

“Oh no, you two don’t have to worry, I won’t say a thing,” Olivia reassures casting them a tight-lipped smile.

“Olivia it’s not like that,” Rita raises an eyebrow, “I thought you two...were?” Her voice trails off afraid to say or rather assume anything about the potential couple.

“I uh—I thought we were too,” Olivia mumbled to herself.

“Olivia it’s not like tha—Rita and I have been friends since freshman year of college. We went to Harvard together, the same cohort, all seven years. Rita is...dare I say, my best friend.” Rita rolled her eyes at his response. “Plus she’s seeing—“

“Rafael! That’s on a _need_ to know basis.” She snipes at him. “He’s right." Rita rolls her eyes, "No matter how much I’ll deny this in the morning, Rafa is my best friend and I’m dating your detective, sergeant. Hence why I stopped taking SVU cases.” She grins, “Before you ask, yes it’s Odafin—I told him not to tell you. Don’t be upset with him.“

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclus—“

“No, I should’ve told you. I probably shouldn’t have planned to have a quick bite after court with another woman in _our_ bar.” He chuckled. “I was obviously looking for trouble.”

“It’s not you, I—I’ve just been hurt too many times, I assumed you’d hurt me too.” She shrugged her shoulders, “even though you’ve given me absolutely no reason to _not_ trust you.”

“Are we good?” He asks with a gentle smile, she simply nods. “Care to join us?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose.”

“Don’t be absurd, you aren’t imposing. Plus, weren’t you looking for me?” He smirks, her eyes glance over to Rita as her cheeks flush.

“Oh, no worries, I’ll excuse myself. I’ve been searching for a reason to leave this dullard to his own devices. You’d be doing me a favor— _no a justice_.” Rita throws down several twenty-dollar bills, “here enjoy lunch on me.” She winks, taking her leave.


	8. Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts out as an argument quickly turns into an admittance of the heart.

On a scintillating Tuesday morning, Olivia, Rafael, and Noah sat along the kitchen island in Olivia’s apartment, it was the first time Rafael had spent the night and was present for breakfast in the morning—the family of three, laughing over pancakes and eggs. Rafael ragged on about the travesty Olivia calls a coffee maker for the millionth time as he smelt the coffee burning; quickly forgetting all of the mistakes and arguments the couple had the week prior.

“Okay, Noah it’s time to finishing getting yourself ready for school, Lucy’ll be here any moment now!” Olivia instructed her son as she helped him step down from the raised kitchen island.

“Will Raf be here tomorrow morning too?” Noah’s big blue doe eyes plead.

“Uh, I don’t know buddy.”

“Can he come over for dinner, _please_?” Olivia hesitated.

“How about you ask him when you’re done getting ready for school, okay?” Noah nods enthusiastically, running off to his bedroom to prep for his tedious day in kindergarten.

Olivia enters the kitchen holding Noah’s empty plate, she hears Rafael whisper yelling into his phone. She puts her hand at the small of his back as she leans over him to drop Noah’s plate in the sink among the dishes he was currently washing as he vigorously ended his call.

“Who was that?” Olivia asks mindlessly, more of out pure curiosity of who could get him so riled up this early in the morning, rather than suspicion or jealousy.

“It was...” Rafael sighs, “It was Yelina.” Olivia’s eyes widened.

“You—“

“She called me.” He immediately clarifies.

“Why’d you pick up?” Olivia exhales sharply.

“I—I don’t know.” Rafael shuts off the pipe, turning to look at her, his girlfriend, the one he’d been pining for, for over five years. “I guess I’m just used to being at her beck and call, it’s just an instinct—no I mean an automatic response.”

“Now, why’d you have to go and say that? Sometimes you run your mouth when it's unnecessary, some things aren’t supposed to say to your _girlfriend,_ especially not about the first woman you ever _loved_ and who broke your heart.” She bites her tongue, not wanting to fight again after such a perfect morning together. “It’s just—it’s been seven months we’ve been together and you’re still picking up her calls? Maybe I'm too sensitive and I’m afraid to find the truth, that you still love her— and that’s scary.” She steps back from him, his scent making her head spin.

“Olivia, no, never. I’d never go back to her, not after what I found with you. I know what we have together is _real_ , it’s special. Now, why would I want to go and lose that?” Olivia meekly shrugs her shoulders, wanting to rattle off all the reasons he’d trade her in for a younger-newer edition.

“Liv, can we just pause for a moment before this commotion takes over? I'm sorry, let's fix this.” Rafael’s emerald green orbs peer into her milk chocolate ones.

“No, I’m sorry...Sometimes I can't kick the habit of being dramatic, It's almost becoming a sickness.”

“Olivia, there are days when I don't think I deserve you. But every day of my life it’s _you_ , I love.” Rafael admitted for the first time in the seven months of their relationship.

Heat rose in Olivia’s stomach up to her chest. As Rafael’s lips got closer her heart skipped a beat, the smell of him is dizzying and hypnotic beyond reason. She parted her lips and felt him washing over her like a tidal wave of warmth, curling her toes, unfurling all her senses as the taste and smell of him nearly silenced all backgrounds noises—is as if the hustle and bustle of New York City ceased to exist outside of her window.

It felt as if time stopped when his lips met hers, but the flutter in her stomach only intensified. Olivia’s heart slammed in her chest, feeling her knees quiver as if they were fixing to give out. She could only focus on how soft his lips felt against her mouth, how inconspicuously he invaded all her senses.

“I love you too,” she murmurs against his lips.


	9. All Is Fair In Love and Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael constantly finds ways to keep Olivia on her toes during their relationship, this time he may have outdone himself— surprising everyone around him.

Its a family game night, everyone invited is in attendance; the set up is couple versus couple; Olivia and Rafael, Amanda and Sonny, Jesse and Noah (just so they could feel included), Odafin and Rita, even Lucia and her new _special_ male friend—whom Rafa refused to acknowledge as her boyfriend. 

“We got this babe!” Olivia cheered, turning her back to her boyfriend and facing the crowd.

“Okay, remember to say the first thing that comes to your mind.” Olivia nodded, her competitiveness jumping out. “What is a day every woman dreams of?”

“Her wedding day!” She fires back immediately.

“What are the top five honeymoon spots in the world?”

“Bora Bora, Bali, Paris, Hawaii, and Italy or Greece!” Olivia hesitated. The onlookers chuckled.

“Finish this rhyme; Something old, something new,”

“Something borrowed and something blue!”

“How would you answer this question?” Rafael took a step back, inhaling sharply. Trapezing on the edge of the unknown, he pulled the blue Tiffany box out of his pocket. Taking a leap of faith, he slowly kneeled onto one knee. “Will you marry me?” He bit his lip, in an attempt to swallow the overwhelming wave of nervousness that attacked him.

“Yes.” She giggled, the silence that overtook the of the rest of the party, shook her to her core. “Wait..” her breath, caught in her throat as she slowly turned toward him. “Raf!” She gasped, covering her mouth from pure shock.

“Olivia Benson. I love you with my entire existence, I can not imagine living my life with anyone else by my side; you complete me. You’re my better half, my best friend, the love of my life, my solid ground, my rock, my light in the darkness, my soulmate, most importantly, you’re my peace. I want to wake up next to you every morning, share a routine with you, I want to parent Noah with you-stand by your side through it all, through thick and thin. I gathered everyone, we love and care about tonight, to ask you this very important question. Will you Olivia Margret Benson, give me the honor of becoming your husband and the father to _our_ son?”

“Yes!” Olivia shouted. Rafael sprung to his feet. He pulled His fiancé into a passionate kiss.

It still wasn’t clear to Olivia if she had conjured this moment in her mind or if this was real life, but there was raw emotion in the way Rafael’s fingers curled around hers, and instantly she knew this was _real_.

Rafael kept his eyes half-open, sneaking a guilty peek at her every time he pulled away slightly for air, just to make sure this wasn’t a product of his imagination.

Rafael wasn’t sure if the universe was rooting for this very moment or if his mind tricked him into a perfect present, but every breath he took smelled like peace and harmony and for the first time since he’d grown to know himself, he didn’t feel hidden. If anything, the warm feeling of Olivia’s breath against his skin, although destabilizing, was invigorating and inviting—he peered into her eyes, taking a look around, he suddenly remembered the room filled with their loved ones.

Their silent grinning faces, filled with approval, urged him on.

Rafael smirked, this time around he draped both arms around Olivia’s small frame and met her lips again halfway, everyone else melting away—nothing ruining _their_ moment.


	10. Confession or Investigation?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael begins to think Carmen is spending a little too much time with Olivia.

“Mr. Barba?” Carmen raises a single eyebrow.

“Yes, Carmen?” Rafael answers without looking up from his laptop screen, jotting something down on his legal pad.

“Is everything okay at home?” She smirks.

“I’m sorry?” Rafael drops his pen slowly working his eyes from his screen to Carmen’s face.

“Well,” Carmen leans against the door frame, “you _never_ do your prep on your laptop, strictly paper case files, so you can highlight, underline, and note things directly on the page and so you can reduce that amount of documents or the pages of your legal pad you'd have to flip through.” Rafael sits up straighter, loosening the tie around his neck.

“Okay?” Rafael licks his lips, “Congratulations on your dutiful observations?” The words fall off his lips as more of a question rather than a statement.

“Unless you aren’t working on the Fairfax or Reinard cases, you know...the ones going to trial next week.” She spoke pointedly at her boss.

“Carmen? Is there a question here? Do you actually need something?” He clears his throat.

“It’s only the 19th and this is the _third_ time you’ve worn that tie this month—“

“No—“ Rafael’s protest dies on his lips as Carmen interjects.

“You seem to wear it on Thursdays.” She tilts her head to the side, enjoying watching her boss squirm. “After spaghetti nights, maybe?”

Carmen takes Rafael’s silence as a sign of resignation, the victory etched into her face.

“I, um—“

“Looking up child-friendly weekend getaways for your anniversary with a certain special SVU Lieutenant?”

“Carmen how do you—“

“Rafael, I arrange your calendar; meetings, _dates_ , appointments, I organize your emails, I allocate all your calls—by the way, Lieutenant Benson called, you left your wallet in her ‘ _office_ ’ last night.” The triumph evident on her face,

“It’s Olivia and Noah’s favorite.” Rafael shrugs in defeat, speaking about the tie, not really seeing the point in hiding anymore—the couple quickly approached and surpassed their one year anniversary, now the family of three were quickly stumbling towards the two-year mark and moving in together—it was only a mere two weeks before they _had_ to tell their coworkers officially, seeing that anyone needing to drop something off or just quickly stopping by would see them living together.

“She’ll probably be up in,” Carmen steps further into the office, leaning against the far end of the desk, where she couldn’t be spotted from the entryway, “3...2...1—“

“Hey, Babe! You left your wallet in my apartment last ni—“ Olivia swallows the rest of her sentence.

“We’ve been caught,” Rafael smiles at his girlfriend, Olivia shrugs, leaning down to press her lips onto his.

“Well, two years is no small feat, surprised we made it that long,” she admits gratifyingly.

“You two are sickeningly sweet,” Carmen squeals, “But I’ve known for at least six months now,” She winked, sauntering out of the office leaving the couple to their own devices.

“Thank God it’s out in the open, now I don’t have to find and organize the movers myself, Carmen is much better at handling that,” Olivia playfully smacked his chest, tossing him his wallet. “It was your incessant need for me to wear this tie that gave us away,” Olivia rolls her eyes.

“What can I say? I love the feel of the silk between my fingers,” she purrs as their lips meet again, Rafael deepens the kiss his fingers digging to her hips. “I have a job to get back to,” Olivia jests breathlessly.

“You tease,” he mumbles against her jaw.

“Just a little preview of what you’ll be expecting tomorrow night for our anniversary is all,” Rafael smirks, knowing Olivia is completely oblivious to the surprise getaway trip he’s planned for the family.

“Perfect,” he whispered, watching her turn and return to work.


	11. Lightning & Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ready for a miracle, waiting for the magic hour, it isn't perfect, but everything's beautiful here.

**— Lightning —**

Olivia had been awake all night unable to shake the thought of her best friend. Lately, he’d been consuming her every waking thought and his smile filled every single dream—the ones she’d had when she wasn’t up all night thinking about him, how good he smelled, how soft his touch feels, how his eyes seemed to linger a little bit longer lately.

Olivia decided it was time to finally get up and shake herself from this Rafael induced haze all she’d been doing all night was restlessly laying in bed while counting the impurities on her ceiling. It was only six in the morning and Olivia found her self burning incense—anything that would rid her of the thoughts of him.

“It’s official. I’ve lost my mind.” Olivia muttered to herself, running her fingers through her hair, “What in the hell? What kind of spell do you have me under, Rafael?”

She obviously couldn’t help herself, giving in to her mind’s incessant need to think of Rafael Barba. She settled into her thoughts with a slight smile etched into her face.

The stark flash of lightning-caused her to jump, she had never in her life been afraid of a little rainstorm. Suddenly with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she realized all she wanted was to rest while snuggled into Rafael’s arms—she’d use the rainstorm as her excuse if she had to.

— **Thunder —**

It’d been a week since Rafael had last seen his best friend but he couldn’t understand the gaping feel he felt at the mere thought of her. The curve of her lips, how her nose crinkled when she smiled, the way her eyes turned into slits whether she was over joyously happy and laughing or drowning in rage.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed her. Lately, Rafael found himself wanting to hold her hand as they walked together side by side; to kiss her lips whenever she began to ramble or go into detail about things he already knew but didn’t want her to stop speaking so he’d let her carry on; when he’d look at her too long he’d get this overwhelming feeling of wanting to wrap his arms around her slender frame. He missed the smell of her—Jasmine and Lavender with a hint of her morning vanilla iced coffee, which no matter how hard she tried a little bit always seemed to get onto her blazer or the collar of her crisp blouse.

“She’s a witch, I’m convinced,” Rafael spoke into the emptiness of his apartment, the only response he received was from the light pattering of rain against his window pane.

Rafael chuckled, how pathetic was he?

What kind of spell did she put over him? How was she controlling his every thought and desire? Rafael didn’t crave anything that didn’t pertain to Olivia Benson.

Was he crazy to think maybe his feelings were reciprocal? He’d been beating himself up over allowing his eyes to linger longer than a brief moment but it wasn’t lost on him that she too matched his gazes. Were her gazes filled with longing and desire like his? He didn’t know.

But he wanted to.

A loud clap of thunder ripped Rafael from his thoughts. He couldn’t take it anymore, with a new sudden wave of alertness Rafael rose from the bed, quickly getting dressed.

He had to see her—he was going to see her and put an end to this once and for all.

— **Magic Hour —**

Olivia dressed and was ready to make her trek across town until suddenly she came to her senses. She couldn’t wake her five-year-old son and drag him twenty minutes out of their way to Park Avenue during a lightening and thunder rainstorm just to get a small fix of Rafael Barba.

With a sigh of discontentment, Olivia dropped her keys back into the bowl on the counter. She slowly made her way back to her room redressing in her pajamas, maybe she’d catch some actual sleep this time around.

Just when Olivia’s eyes shut for a moment a loud jittery knock at her front door pulled her away from the shallow sleep she’d just entered, with a groan she kicked off her covers, “who the hell is knocking at my door this early?” She mumbled to herself. 

The surprise Olivia felt when she opened her front door and saw a soaking Rafael Barba standing in the hallway of her building soon followed by confusion.

“Raf?”

“My umbrella snapped and flew away with the wind halfway here from the subway.” He explained without being prompted.

“Okay?” She tilted her head, “that doesn’t explain why you’re here—at my door during a storm—at seven o’clock in the morning?” Olivia asked, not that she wasn’t happy because she was—she most definitely was indescribably happy but that didn’t lessen her confusion. “Did you need something, Raf? Is it important?” She pestered at his deafening silence.

He had that look in his eye again, all he wanted—all he needed was standing right in front of him.

“I couldn’t sleep, I can’t think right, I can barely function.” He finally utters, “Not until I do this,” Rafael’s hands made its way to her hips, with a tight but gentle tughe pulled her closer until his lips were on hers.

His lips smash against hers as if trying to flatten and mold his mouth with hers. She hungrily kissed him back—she’d been waiting for this moment for weeks, the excitement was evident in the way she pushed back, for a moment she parted her mouth and Rafael acted fast as his tongue pushed passed her pearly whites coming in contact with her warm tongue. The bristles of his five o’clock shadow scratched against the cool skin of her soft cheek—leaving a nasty red rash, not that she’d care—she wanted this too long to let something so minuscule as a skin irritant deter them from the heated moments they were sharing. She worked her mouth against his, handing running and gripping at his short tendrils, their tongues at war barreling for dominance as if the winner takes all—hearts included, it was a win-win situation and the two were playing for enjoyment.

“Maybe you should come in?” Olivia spoke breathlessly as the two broke apart for a moment to catch their breath.

The moment Rafael stepped through the entryway, he shut the door instantly pinning her up against it as his tongue found its way down her throat once again, receiving no complaints from Olivia.


	12. No Complaints Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would've thought foreplay would come in the form of a compliment, but with Raf and Liv, you never know?

“That was delicious, Raf!” Olivia praised, “Maybe we should consider this work from home thing more often,” she winks at him.

“The _only_ thing I’m good for is cooking you hot meals?” He jests.

“Mm, you’re also good for looking like a meal—quite the sight for sore eyes if I may say so myself.”

“Watch it, Olivia, you’re sounding dangerously close to barbaric.” Olivia’s eyes trail down to his crotch, lingering momentarily. “My eyes are up here!” He snaps his fingers to get her attention.

“While that’s true, you have something else worthwhile down there,” she licks her lips sensually locking eyes with his memorizing green ones. 

“Seems like you want me barefoot and pregnant and all to yourself,” he raises an eyebrow in her direction. She scoffs.

“Imagine you carrying my offspring,” Olivia bit down on her bottom lip taking a step closer to him, “I don’t think I’d be able to keep my hands off of you,” she ran her hands down his back, stopping right at the curve of his ass.

“Good thing there are no complaints here,” he pressed his lips against hers as she gripped the meat of his ass between her fingertips, a slight moan vibrates against her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the smut that ensues but didn't know if I should post it, LOL. Should I? Someone let me know if y'all are interested.


	13. Comfort Zones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut that ensues!

“Oh my god,” Olivia choked out breathlessly, “How many times are you going to make me cum in one night?” She attempted to catch her breath.

“As many times as your body will physically allow me,” he smirks up at her, his mouth still glistening from her juices; pillowing his head against her inner thigh as his fingers mindlessly roamed between her folds. She went to clench her thighs together in an attempt to bar him from her most sensitive parts; Rafael chuckled, pressing her opposite leg back into the mattress beneath them. His lips were at her center again, repeatedly placing light kisses to her clit.

“Raf,” she moaned, “I don’t think I can cum anymore, please!” She groaned as her body jolted.

“Yes you can, baby. You can cum again, for me. Just for me.” He whispered as his tongue dived back into her core.

Olivia’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, this would be her eighth? Ninth? Hell, it might actually be her tenth orgasm for the night. She’d lost count after the fourth or fifth one—more like her brain turned to goo and it was quite impossible to keep track with Rafael’s insistence.

The night had started with a lazy make out session on the couch following the foreplay and dirty talk after dinner, soon enough his fingers found their way into her pants, mindlessly rubbing against her clit. Her first orgasm was shallow, but good none the less.

Fumbling to rip each other’s clothes off on the way to the bedroom—he’d practically thrown her onto the bed, pinned her hips to the mattress, and without warning plunged his face between her thighs until he could not feel his lips. And with nothing but his lips and tongue Olivia began to convulse as the orgasm took her body by surprise.

Rafael sat up on the mattress his face glistening from her wetness, her body still buzzing from the first two orgasms grew wet again at the sight of his beauty—his ruffled brown locks, those deep green eyes drowning in arousal, her juices coating his lips and chin, how his thick erect penis stood up pressed into his stomach. “I need you, Rafa, please,” she all but begged to feel him inside of her—that might’ve been her first mistake.

Rafael presses his chest against her plump breasts, her hard rosy nipples pinned against the smoothness of his skin. Without a moment’s notice two of his fingers are buried into the depths of Olivia’s arousal, he swallowed her gasps by covering her lips with his. It felt as if instantly his fingers grazed her G-spot, Olivia was seeing stars as he curled his fingers in the depths of her pussy, his fingers hitting her spot repeatedly, “Raf!” She cried out, her moans mumbled against his lips. Olivia had never reached orgasm so fast in her life.

Rafael gave her a moment of reprieve as his slick fingers slipped out of her golden heat. Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist, reaching down to pump his hard cock which was starting to purple at the head. Without much prompting Olivia lines him up, guiding him into place—Rafa inhales deeply before pushing all the way home, filling her to the hilt. He gives her a moment to adjust to his size, how his thickness so perfectly fills her up. Olivia begins to wine craving more friction between her legs, Rafael silently obeys her request moving his hips with a dangerously slow thrust to start. “Raf, please! Please, I need more!” She hungrily demanded. He picked up his pace, thrusting into her mercilessly. His thrust was fast, rhythmic, and hard—his thrusts were so deliciously hard and deep Olivia couldn’t fight the coil building in her lower belly, she couldn’t resist her walls clenching around his hard member plowed so sweetly into her depths.

Her body began to shudder as the orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave.

“Can I—can I keep going? Or do you want me to stop?” Raf grunts through his pleasure as he slows his ministrations.

“No, no baby, you can keep going until you finish.” Olivia pants. Rafael attacks her lips, moving toward a slow grind to give her body a slight pardon before he picks up his relentless momentum once more. Rafael could feel his manhood beginning to swell inside her, his ruthless thrusts are so deep she cries out, “Oh my God!” and bites her tongue, throwing her head back in ecstasy, “You shouldn’t be this deep!” She moans as his length hits her cervix she gasps, the burning inside her is so sweet she feels as if she’s floating in the clouds.

Olivia cums on his cock two more times before he empties his seed in her. “Oh, God! Oliviaaa,” Rafael cries out as his load fills her up. Rafael collapses onto her trembling body, pulling out of her, she bleats at the loss of contact—how he so deliciously filled her. The couple laid in complete blissed-out silence for a few minutes as they caught their breath, “Can I—can I taste you? I mean us?” He asks bashfully, “I want to know what our love tastes like if you’d allow me,” Olivia nodded wordlessly at his request not trusting her voice to get her through this moment.

Rafael scooted down the bed, gently pushing her weakening thighs apart, where he caught a glimpse of her overly sensitive pink throbbing sex. He traced the outline of it with his finger causing her to quiver. Rafael’s tongue tasted every inch of her arousal, swirling around between her folds finding the perfect mix of her climax and his ejaculate.

Olivia couldn’t remember how many times she had cum on his tongue. But right now in this very moment, she felt like her brain was turning to mush and she was about to explode, “Raf!” She pled, pushing his head out of her core, unable to control the way her body violently shook with spasms with what she hoped was her last orgasm of the night, “Please! I need a break, baby, please.” She supplicates, wondering what the hell she was thinking allowing his head between her legs after he’d so thoroughly fucked her she couldn’t think straight.

And with one last parting kiss, Rafael unwillingly extricated himself from the one place he’d wanted to be entombed in for the rest of his life. “You did so good baby,” he caressed her hairline, wiping away the beads of sweat that lay against her forehead. He kissed her lips so she could taste the evidence of their love he’d so diligently worked toward savoring.

“Baby, I can’t—“ she mumbled against his lips, “I’m so sore, I can’t go again, I barely think I can move.” He kissed her temple, gentling his thumb across her cheek.

“No baby, no more, let’s just lay here and I’ll carry you anywhere you need to go, I promise,” he coos. “Thank you for letting me carry you so far beyond your comfort zone. I love you so much,” he plants a kiss on her forehead.

“I know,” she mumbles nestling her head into the softness of his bare chest, “I love you too,” she grumbles as she peacefully falls asleep wrapped up in her lover’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is my attempt at smut!


	14. Babygirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As of recently, I’ve been dabbling in prompt writing with my friend where she gives me a prompt/scenario or a picture and I write her a short Drabble or ficlet based on it. I’ve decided to dump those here! Thank you, Haley, for being my muse!
> 
> The next few updates will be prompts given to me by the lovely Haley.

**Prompt 1: Rafael taking a picture of Olivia holding their baby girl**

He had never been more in love with Olivia than he had been at this very moment. The love in his heart swelled at the thought of Olivia carrying and birthing his baby. he sat back in awe, admiring his beautiful brown-eyed baby girl. He couldn’t help himself—he slipped his phone out of his pocket wanting to capture the happiness of this very moment. Olivia looked so happy, so content and their sweet baby girl had those deep brown gems settled on him. It wasn’t until the shutter of the camera when Olivia finally noticed him, her chocolate pools locking into his emerald ones.

“Can you believe we made her?” Olivia whispered in amusement, “it’s been six months and I still can’t believe something so precious and gentle came out of me,” she sighed in awe.

“She’s so perfect—just like her momma,” Rafa leaned down to press a kiss into her sweet-smelling hair.


	15. “As long as you continue to hold me just like this.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: The squad is at some type of party and Olivia drank a little more than she normally does and she’s so clingy and cuddles into Barba and Amanda takes a picture of them.

Olivia was used to a glass or two of Cabernet after a particularly stressful week—but this past month felt like it had been express shipped from the depths of hell. As if it were perfectly timed her birthday presented itself sneaking up on her before she had the time to accurately plan anything. There’d always be next year, right? All Olivia wanted was to crawl in bed and wrap her arms around her fiancé but when she stepped through the front door and wasn’t met with the happy cheers of her four-year-old, she knew something was up.

“Raf? Noah?” Olivia steps further into her apartment switching the lights on.

“Surprise!” Her fiancé, her squad, and a few close friends fill the empty space of her apartment.

“Oh my—“ Olivia clutches her chest, “you’re all lucky I didn’t shoot you!” She smirks.

Rafael steps up wrapping his arms around her waist, “I have a special dress waiting for you on the bed next to the glass of your favorite dry champagne!”

“Rafa, you bought me a dress? You didn’t have to—“

“You only turn 50 once mi amor, I wanted to make sure you feel pampered.” Rafael urges her into the bedroom. She quickly changes, dropping her work clothes into the hamper, touching up her makeup, not wanting to deal with her hair she clips it back right after finishing her glass of champagne. She slips out of the bedroom and into the atmosphere of the party.

“Hey, Lieu! Have a drink with us to celebrate the big five-oh!” Carisi goads her into a drink which ultimately turns into three—one for each member of the squad. As Olivia makes her rounds across the cramped apartment, she greets her guest as they offer her more celebratory glasses of champagne—she accepts few while in search of her husband to be.

“Hey! Rita!” Olivia’s eyes widen as she begins to feel the effects of alcohol.

“It’s the birthday girl!” Rita turns greeting the guest of honor.

“The birthday girl can’t find her fiancé. Have you seen him?”

“Mm, I see he hasn’t run you off yet,” she jests, “he’s right over there,” Rita places her hand at the small of Olivia’s back leading her toward her work addicted fiancé.

“Raf? Are you ducking me so you can check your work email?” Olivia throws her arms around the unsuspecting man.

“You should arrest him,” Rita jokes before turning away to return to the conversation she’d been carry with her date just moments before.

“Olivia?” Rafael supports the unexpected weight, “how much have you had to drink?” She shrugs.

“I—uh—I don’t actually know...” her voice trails off as she pulls back a look of deep thought fills her eyes, “there was the champagne in the room, three drinks with the squad, and more drinks offered to me in my search of you—I don’t know how much I accepted.” She leans back into his embrace, “what I do know is that I miss you!”

“Well, I’m right here,” he reassures her, kissing her forehead softly.

“Mm, while that is very true—the room gets a little off balance when you let me go, so be sure to keep holding just like this,” She lays her head on his shoulder.

“Let's get you in a seat,”

“No, I just want you to hold me,” Olivia argues.

“I will continue you to hold you as we sit,” he nudges her toward the empty couch. Rafael’s body plopped down onto the couch, fingers still interlocked with his fiancé’s. He pulls her down onto the soft material of the cushions, they sit so closely their thighs are pressed together, Olivia melts into his side— unsuccessfully nudging her face into the crook of his neck. He drapes his arm across his shoulder as a passing couple greets him, Olivia weakly grips his fingers between her own.

“I love you,” she mumbles into the side of his jaw, “so so much,” She emphasizes. “Thank you for this, it means so much! It probably was so much work to pull this together so quickly especially after our engagement party.” She rambled.

“Nothing is ever too much when it comes to you.” He whispered softly, “I’d handpick the stars out of the night sky and serve then to you on a silver platter if you asked me to.” Rafael’s smile grew on his face, a smile he couldn’t help but reveal to the world whenever Olivia Benson was around. “I love you too, and I can’t wait to make you my wife.” His smile was contagious as hers spread across her face matching the ambiance and intensity of the grin plastered on his face. Amanda sat across from the love-struck couple, slipping her phone out of her pocket—they were so wrapped up in one another they didn't notice her capturing the moment on her phone. 

"As long as you continue to hold me just like this," She melted further into his side, "we'll be merrily married." She laughed a little harder than usual. 


	16. Girls Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much-needed girls night out leads to tipsy confessions, awkward stares, and uncomfortable explanations!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Rafael but he isn't actually in this one!

“Okay, no guys! For real, who's the best fuck you’ve ever had?” Lucy raises an eyebrow bringing her martini to her lips.

“Honestly, an orgasm is an orgasm ain’t it?” Amanda leaned back in her chair smirking at the ladies around the table.

“No—not at all.” Rita snorts, “We need to get her a good lay.” Lucy chokes on her drink at the defense attorney's quip. 

Amanda rolls her eyes, her cheeks reddening, as she avoids the incoming glances. Olivia glances at the detective with a knowing look, attempting to change the subject in order to get the unwanted attention of off her blushing friend. 

“Mmm, I’d have to say, Barba—“

“Oh come on Liv, you’re just saying that because he’s your fiancé—we aren’t gonna tell him!” Lucy leans closer to Olivia.

“I’m not just saying that,” Olivia’s face flushes, “I can't recall the last time I didn’t finish, cause there is no one orgasm with Rafa. Not even when we have quickies.” Olivia covers her face with both her hands completely shocked at the fact that she shared that tidbit of information.

“Oh my God! Mr. Barba got it like that? I don’t believe you!” Lucy squealed.

“She’s not wrong,” Rita pipes up just as Olivia’s wine glass reaches her lips.

“Um—I’m sorry?” Olivia tilts her head in confusion.

“Rafael was one of the best lays I’ve ever had—those nimble ass fingers really know what they’re doing.” Rita shivers at the memory, throwing back the rest of her cosmopolitan.

“When did you two sleep together?” All the effects of alcohol suddenly leaving her body—Olivia's mind, now present and sober as ever.

Rita looks around the table at the shocked silent faces looking back at her, _oh boy_. She’d fucked up. Rafael was going to kill her, no one was ever supposed to find out what had gone down between the two of them. Rita raises her hand at the bartender signaling her need for another drink to get through this conversation.

“I—uh. No one was ever supposed to know.” Rita gladly took the drink from the kind waiter chugging half of it before placing it neatly back on the table. All eyes were on her. She couldn’t help but notice Olivia uncomfortably shifting in her seat, unable to meet her eyes any longer. “Olivia it was eons ago!” She clarified. “We were in college, and we’d just turned 21. Every weekend post my 21st birthday we’d go out and get shit faced together and fall into bed. It kind of just became a habit and we were friends with benefits. Nothing more, nothing less!” Olivia sipped her drink, her eyes looking remotely detached. “After a while, we decided to stop and save our friendship before either of us confused the thralls of passion for love or something else ridiculous of the sort.”

“Have you two ever—while we were—“

“No! No—never. We haven’t touched each other since his grandfather died.” Olivia searched Rita’s eyes for honesty.

Not that the bold Defense Attorney had any reason to lie to her, Olivia was engaged to her best friend and she was dating Olivia’s. She’d never do anything to hurt Odafin, believe it or not, she actually loved that hardened fool.

She saw how Olivia’s shoulders noticeably relaxed she felt the tension melting away.

“Besides, we got drunk together last week and all he could do was stare off into the distance and sigh dreamily.Every time I asked him what he was smiling over he’d pull out his phone and stare at a picture of you.” Rita placed her hand on top of Olivia’s. “Rafael would never cheat on you, he loves you and that curly-headed little boy way too much, to do anything that would risk him losing you.” Olivia smiled up at her.

“I’m glad he wouldn’t. I couldn’t figure out if I was gonna kill you for sleeping with my man or breaking my best friend’s heart.” The table erupted into a slew of tipsy giggles.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Lucy chimed in.

“If Liv is in jail for killing Rita and Raf. I’d have to break in a new CO and ADA? That’s too much to deal with.” Amanda winked while sipping her beer.

“And my death isn’t the most alarming part of that scenario? And here I thought we were friends, Detective Rollins.” Rita rolled her eyes playfully.

“Honestly, Fin would kill Rafael before I had the chance—“

“He’d most likely take the fall for Liv murdering me anyway, he’d do anything to protect this woman, it’s so sweet it’s sickening.” Olivia nodded at Rita’s statement.

“Fin and I have these two wrapped around our little fingers, and that might mostly be attributed to fear,” Olivia jests, resting her head on Rita’s shoulder.

“This conversation never leaves this table!" Rita forewarns. "Just whatever you do...please don’t tell either of them I told you! Rafael will burry me up to my neck in civil suits for defamation of character or some other mindless petty desk tickets." Rita rolls her eyes knowing her best friend would probably stop talking to her for an entirety of two weeks before she finally stratagems him into forgiving her drunken slip of the tongue. "Fin will glare Barba into an early grave.” Rita groans. “The only reason he wouldn’t hurt the man is because it would in return hurt Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes over here. I swear she can do no wrong in his eyes.” Rita shook her head down at the woman resting on her.

“Oh Reet, you know I’m telling Raf the moment I step through the door. But Fin? He’ll never hear a word from me. It’s blabbermouth over there you have to worry about.” Olivia cuddles closer to her best-friend-in-law.

“Amanda, any price you name it—within reason.”

“Oh, darlin’ I got debts not even you can pay off.” She full belly laughed. “You just keep my old partner happy and he won’t hear a peep from me.” She raised her beer in solidarity.

“Speaking of partners..." Olivia finishes of her glass on pinot grigio, "Can you and lover boy at least try to keep your eye-fucking out of my squad room?” Olivia blurted. Amanda’s eyes widened.

“How did you—“

“Oh come on, Rafael and I practically invented sexual tension. I know what it looks like when it’s finally been resolved.” Olivia smirked.

“Look! It’s a blushing Georgia peach!” Lucy commented in the midst of her laughing. “So you’re telling me Detective Carisi hasn’t given you that thorough fucking you’ve been yearning for?” Amanda’s reddened face is dazed and tongue-tied.

“Can we all agree to stay out of each other’s love lives?” Rita pitches in agreement.

“Cheers to that!” Olivia beamed.

“Here here!” Amanda clinked her glass with the other two older women.

“Mm, I make no promises.” Lucy eyed them with a widening grin overtaking her face.


	17. Coffee Pots, Complaints, & Carisi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia makes a vulgar plea with Amanda in the middle of the breakroom, unfortunately, Carisi enters in the midst of the crossfire.

“Amanda, I need you to take Noah for the weekend.” Olivia blurts, approaching Amanda as she leaned against the counter, reaching for the half-empty coffee pot in the break room.

“Mm, no can do. Jessie and I have a few girls days planned before the little one comes next month.” Amanda smiled softly rubbing her hand mindlessly over the swell of her thirty-six-week belly, apologizing to her Lieutenant.

“Amanda, I’ll do anything!” Olivia’s pleads were bordering desperate. “Can Sonny take him? Even just for a couple of hours?”

“You sound desperate Liv,” Amanda raised a single eyebrow in suspicion.

“If I don’t get some alone time with Raf pretty soon I’m gonna be filing for divorce. After a long drawn out custody battle, the days and every other weekend Rafael has with Noah, I’ll be filling the lonely silence with the low humming sound of the first vibrator I can get my hands on,” Olivia rolled her eyes at her friend's unsuccessful attempt to stifle her laugh.

“I see that you have this all planned out—“

“Amanda!” Olivia whined.

“How long has it been since you two...” her voice trailed off, “you know?” There was a suggestive urgency to her last statement.

“A little over three months.” Olivia sighed shaking her head in frustration, Amanda’s eyes nearly bulge out of her head. “I mean we’ve tried but every time we get...close, Noah somehow interrupts!” Olivia’s cheeks slightly reddened. “The other day we waited until the middle of the night—it was literally after three in the morning—we started going at it like animals and right when I was on the brink, there’s a knock on our bedroom door! It’s like he has some anti-orgasm kink—I love the kid Amanda, but if I don’t get to finish soon I just may physically explode.” Olivia sighs leaning her lower back against the counter, shifting her upper body in the blonde's direction, peering intently into her detective’s crystal blue eyes.

“I mean, we don’t want that!” Amanda chuckles. “So you’re telling me you’ve been dancing on edge for the past three months and are only _now_ coming to me for assistance? You’re a strong woman, Lieutenant.”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve been _this_ uncomfortable the entire time but recently, Raf and I hit a wall—consumed by this wave of desire burning up inside of us and if we don’t itch this scratch, things will turn _ugly_ —as I said divorce in our near future ugly.”

“Don’t tell me you two are having a gossip girl moment by the coffee pot,” Sonny strolls into the break room placing his hand on his long time girlfriend’s pregnant belly.

“Watch it, Dominick.” Olivia glared.

“Mmm, you’re on babysitting duty this weekend so Olivia and her lovely husband can fuck like rabbits.” She smirked, glancing down at her boyfriend rubbing comforting circles on her swollen belly.

“Ew—first of all ‘Manda—I didn’t need to know that! And secondly, I have a baseball game this weekend with my nephews—“

“Great!” Olivia cheered cutting her subordinate off, “Noah loves baseball! Just name a price! Any price for the ticket! I’ll even throw in a tip. Trust me money is no problem—Raf’s pockets are deeper than they appear.” Olivia rambled.

“But Lieu—“

“Please for the love of God we only need an hour or two—I’ll personally pick him up once we’re done.” Olivia eyed her detective uncomfortably.

“Liv, drop him off tonight and pick him up Sunday morning? I’ll figure out the rest.” Amanda offered genuinely.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Olivia threw her arms loosely around her swollen friend.

“Quench the thirst, itch the scratch, fill the void until it overflows. I hope it’s enough time to satiate that hunger.” She winks at her superior.

“Okay—gross. I’m going back to my desk now _without_ my coffee.” Carisi lifts his hands in defeat strutting back to his designated area, determined to get away the conversation he unknowingly waltzed into.

“I have to tell, Rafa to cancel his Friday open-door office hours for this evening.” Olivia sighed dreamily, sounding dangerously close to a moan of pleasure, reaching into her back pocket fishing out her phone.

“As long as you two don’t start your rendezvous inside or anywhere near the squad room, I’m good with it all.” Amanda jokes as she poured the rest of the scolding coffee for her now slightly disturbed boyfriend.

“I can’t make you any promises!” Olivia called over her shoulder as she sauntered back to her office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's a smut chapter that proceeds this one if its wanted, I've been working on it, just let me know.


	18. Perhaps, there is only 1 cardinal sin — Impatience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia finally get what they wish for, but Olivia's inability to wait a moment longer is evident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mature scene ahead, proceed with caution...

“Rafael—pants off and in bed now!” Olivia demands the moment she steps through the door, catching an unsuspecting and half undressed Rafael by surprise. His jacket and vest were already off resting on the back of the couch, his tie undone and lounging on the floor as he was bending his arm to unbutton the ends of his shirt sleeves.

“No greeting? A little foreplay? Take me to dinner first at least—“ Rafael’s protests die on his lips as Olivia’s hungry mouth swallows his sarcasm. She places her hands on either side of his face pulling him unknowingly closer, his hands positioned at her hips, his fingers tirelessly working to unbutton her form-fitting slacks and untucking her blouse. His fingers pressing into the warmth of her delicate skin.

Olivia’s fingers moved from the nape off his neck to the top of his shirt—fumbling to release her husband from the constraints of the salmon-colored button-down. Soon enough Olivia’s frustrations heightened in dire need to feel the supple skin underneath her fingertips—she tugs at the fabric in her hands the buttons flying everywhere in the process, “I’ll buy you a new one,” She assures him.

“I have three others in this color,” he mumbles against her lips, Olivia slides the salmon-colored material over his shoulders—it hit the ground as Olivia began to pull his cotton undershirt over his head, finding solace in their skin to skin contact. Rafael follows Olivia‘s lead pulling her blouse over her head with an uncanny urgency. The couple pressed into one another—chest to chest—skin on skin—feeling her hard rosy nipples pinned against the smoothness of his skin caused a stirring in his pants.

Olivia groped him through his trousers, moaning at the thought of his hard cock slamming into her mercilessly. He slipped his fingers into her belt and backed her up against the wall, kissing his way up her throat in response.

Olivia’s hand found its way into his pants, she graciously stroked him two times before his hips bucked in response to the stimulation of her hand. Olivia dropped to her knees undoing the buckle of his belt watching his pants fall to the ground pooling at his ankles. She kissed him through the thin fabric of his boxer briefs, her tongue tracing the outline of his hardening member. Without a moment’s notice Olivia tugged at his undergarments as they met his pants on the floor lazily hanging around his ankles. Rafael kicked the material from off his feet, the warming breath from Olivia’s mouth made his excited cock jump in anticipation. Olivia swallows her husband whole, without hesitation. She glances up at him, meeting his eyes, bobbing her head slightly, his eyes nearly roll to the back of his head as she pulls him out of her mouth to swirl her tongue around the tip of his cock, she then takes his full length into her mouth, she slightly gags.

“Oooliviiaaa,” Rafael groans pulling himself out from the hot wet depths of her mouth, “I’m gonna cum if you keep this up even a moment longer,” he pants, pulling her up to meet his lips.

He unhooks her bra as they stumble their way into the master bedroom. His lips only leaving hers to bring praise to the newly freed nubs on her chest. With his lips clasped around her nipple, he fights with the buttons on her slacks, finally freeing her from the only barrier between their corporal bliss. She raised her hips to help him pull her trews and lace panties off. His fingers grazed over her slick heat, “you’re so wet,” he purrs—she nods wordlessly.

He looks into her eyes awaiting consent, she nods her head frantically. He grips her thighs, pushing them apart, aligning himself up with her entrance. He pushes all the way home, “Raf, oh fuck!” She groans as he fills her, pushing in until he fills her to the hilt. “Mmm,” Olivia moans, grinding her hips, “Raf please,” she begs as he begins to move his hips slowly, “faster baby, please,” She cries. Rafael is buried so deep inside her, his thrusts are shallow initially not wanting to lose the feel of her velvety walls enclosing his full length.

Rafael’s hips snap against hers incessantly, pinning her hips to the mattress his brutal thrust filling her with such aching pleasure, “Don’t stop, don’t stop, right there!” She digs her nails into his flesh. “I don’t care if this building burns down, Rafael you don’t stop!” He presses her thighs further apart, pushing them down into the mattress—deepening his strokes. “Oh my God,” she cried as his thrust rammed into _her spot_ repeatedly.

She could feel him swelling inside her as the tightening coil burned in her lower belly. Her walls tightened around him, “Come on, cum for me baby.” Rafael whispered quickening his thrust, “Mm—just—just let go, I’m there! I’m there!” The frantic movements of his hips sent her over the edge unable to keep her orgasm at bay any longer—she screeched at the top of her lungs as her whole body convulsed, releasing over three months of pent up sexual frustration. Olivia let the orgasm wash over her body, thoroughly satiating her needs.

Rafael collapsed on top of her, his head resting between her breast—the gentle and unsteady rise and fall of her chest lulling him to sleep. Her fingers played in the dark tresses of the man she so deeply loved. “Later, I want it slow and sensual against the wall or in the shower,” she whispered ever so lightly.

“God, I love you.” He mumbled into her chest.

“I know,” she sighed as she drifted off to sleep.


	19. “Fin, drop this. Olivia, no.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fin prepares himself for an uncomfortable conversation with Olivia—but it takes a completely different turn.

Olivia slowly lowered herself into her seat, flinching at the pressure added to her bum.

Fin couldn’t help but notice the pain his Commanding Officer and best friend was trying hard to mask, but she couldn’t get anything past him.

“Aye, Liv, is everything okay?” He called out from his desk, she gave him a dismissive nod, clearly trying to avoid eye contact. “Something’s up,” He mumbled to himself, standing from his seat he entered her office, slowly closing the door behind him.

“Fin? What are you—“ his jaw nearly dropped at the ghastly sight of in front of him.

“Liv...what the hell happened to your face?” He subconsciously reached for his gun, gripping the holster clipped to his waist, “Did Barba—“

“No—no! It’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think? I think my eyes are working pretty damn well for a man my age and what I see is a busted lip, a bruised jaw, and a poorly covered black eye." Olivia for a moment thought she saw physical steam transpiring off his body, "Don’t cover for this fool, Liv. What would you tell a victim?”

“You know Rafael would _never_ lay a finger on me.”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“My husband didn’t hit me.” She blinked coldly at her Sergeant, “I’d like to believe you know him—better yet, you know me better than that. I’d pistol whip him first, in fact, he’d let me before he’d lay a hand on me.”

“You could barely sit down earlier.” Fin deadpanned.

“Fin, drop this.”

“Olivia, no.”

“I’m telling you it’s not what you think. Why don’t you believe me?” She raised her eyebrows in frustration, her nose crinkling.

“Been on the job so long I trust my gut. Plus your husband worked sex crimes for a decade he’d know how to hide his handy work—“

“Oh my god, he didn’t hit me it was Noah.” Fin plopped into the seat in front of her desk, worry and concern etched into his face.

“Noah hit you?” He asked in disbelief unable to comprehend the sound waves colliding with his eardrums.

“It wasn’t intentional." She widened her eyes, scratching her eyebrow with her thumb, "He was having a bad nightmare last night and I tried to wake him up and it didn’t work out in my favor. Raf had to get a bucket of water and sing to him while I held and rocked him to restrain his panicked fidgeting to subdue him.” Fin raised a single eyebrow as she detailed how her son pulled her hair, scratched, slapped, and punched her, as he was fighting off bullies in his sleep.

“That’s doesn’t explain why it hurt for you to sit down?” Fin crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat.

“Odafin.”

“Olivia.”

The two were at a stand-off. He wasn’t backing down. She internally groaned shoving her bruised face into her cupped hands, duly regretting what was about to escape her lips.

“Rafael and I tried anal a few nights ago. I enjoy a few smacks on the ass in the throes of passion. Are you happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Fin’s face noticeably paled. “I told you to drop it,” She shrugged at his reaction, opening her laptop to get started on work.

“I ain’t ever gettin’ that image outta my head,” he stood shaking his head in disgust as he headed for the door.

“Next time when I tell you to drop something, drop it.” She smirked as he twisted the door handle, “And Fin?”

He hesitantly turns toward her, “Yes, Captain?” He grimaces at the thought of her providing him with a single extra detail.

“Thanks for looking out,” She smiles weakly at her computer screen, never meeting his eyes.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would probably never happen as Olivia Benson is extremely private and Fin would react first and ask later when it comes to his partner or Olivia, but I decided to use my creative license here as this idea wouldn't leave me and I've been missing Finlivia.


	20. Milk and Flowers for the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia's having a hard time, who better to help her cope than her very own hubby?

The past week for Olivia was so emotionally taxing she was due for a break down any moment now. She feared what the trigger might be—praying it wouldn’t be one of her children, she couldn’t afford to traumatize them any further by allowing them to see her cry.

Olivia sighed as she cleared the entryway, slowly dragging herself upstairs, and then finally to her bedroom door without any disruptions. The guilt would soon consume her, it's not like she wanted to be relieved by not seeing her lovely children, _especially_ after seeing them so little in the past seven days. She shook her head, biting down on her bottom lip, with her mind going haywire, all she could think about—all she wanted was a nice long hot bath she could stick her head under and drown her sorrows in.

How she craved sob in the peace of her own solitude.

And that’s exactly what she’ll do, she’ll save her tears for the shower. Olivia closed the door behind her, dropping her purse on her bedside table, immediately stripping from the restraints she’d been wearing for two days straight—to say she felt gross and trapped would be an understatement. She left her dirty and nearly soiled clothes on the floor pooled at her feet, on her side of the bed, not having the energy to pick them up and place them in the hamper. She walked over to the closet pulling her bathrobe down from its hook, steadily making her way to the master bath on her trembling knees.

She entered the bathroom to find her husband wrapped in his bathrobe reading one of her favorite books, he was propped up against the edge of the tub.

“Raf?” Her quivering voice called out. His shining green orbs looked up, meeting her tear-filled brown ones, his smile met his eyes as he stood calmly making his way over to her.

“All for you,” he wrapped his arm around her middle leading her toward the nearly opaque white milk bath accented with her favorite flowers. “Epsom salt, powdered milk, baking soda, 4 drops your favorite essential oils, honey, fresh roses, lavender, and peonies. All warmed up for your enjoyment.” He spoke softly against her temple, as he pressed kisses against the length of her face.

“Raf—“ the tears searing the back of her eyes coming full force toward the surface.

“The kids are with my mom for the night, she’ll bring them back around lunch tomorrow. We don’t have to do anything. If you want me to scram, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s been such a hard week for you and all I want is for you to relax and feel better.” Olivia shook her head as the tears profusely streamed down her cheeks. Before she could utter a single syllable she found her lips against his, the taste of fresh tears and her blueberry vanilla chapstick mixed together into a passionate expression of love and gratitude.

“You’re getting in too?” She asked softly, sounding hopeful. Those were the only words she could muster up at the moment.

He nods, pushing her bathrobe off of her shoulders, his following in suit as he stepped into the bath, taking her hand to guide her in. He lowers himself into the bath parting his legs so she has a sturdy place to sit. Olivia went in after him fitting perfectly in between his legs. He immediately wraps his arms around her from behind. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, and he felt her start to relax. Moments later she began to fidget, curling her fingers into his, turning her head for more skin to skin contact, as her ear pressed against the skin between his outer armpit and forearm.

Her body begins to shake with silent sobs, “I know baby,” he whispers into her hair, “I’m here now,” he reminds her as she turns slightly, both her arms clutching his left arm, sobbing into his forearm.

Rafael uses his free dominant arm to work the mixture into his wife’s hair. He runs his fingers through the knots, fiddling with her shampoo bottle one-handed, once he gets a decent enough amount he gingerly coats her greasy hair, massing her scalp. “I’m going to take care of you, baby, don’t you worry.”


	21. Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five drabbles.  
> Five conversations.  
> Four times Olivia and Rafael have to work through their reservations with their long-distance relationship.  
> And the one time they don't have to anymore.

“Hand on the Bible, I think you’re the love of my life.”

“Is it because I hopped on a flight to find you?” She chuckles sleepily.

“That’s surely, part of it,” he smiles at the thought of Olivia turning up at his Iowan doorstep, clutching dearly to a sleepy Noah’s hand as she confessed her love to her best friend four months after his new job post DA’s office dragged him all the way out to Iowa. “I feel like I need you here tonight beside me.”

“Sometimes it feels like you’re a world away.”

“Iowa practically is.”

“I want to run my fingers through your beard and kiss you repeatedly until you push me away.”

“That would never happen, Liv.”

“Then, forever. I want to kiss you forever.”

“Did you know it’s been a hundred days...since I’ve kissed your face?”

“I miss you Rafa,” Olivia’s voice quivers, “Just twenty-two more days to go.”

“I don’t deserve you...”

“Oh my love, you don’t even know your worth in my eyes, my life before you is all a blur in—“

“Olivia?”

“Rafa?”

“I’d never hurt you.”

“I know.” She says within a breath. “I love you...so much.” He sighs.

* * *

“Hey, Liv?”

“Mm?” She responded to her lover as she was tucked deeply under the thick wool blankets, the phone hitched between the fluffy feathered pillow beckoning her toward a peaceful slumber and her ear. 

“You know I love you?” Not even his worry-filled tone could perturb her exhausted state.

“Mmhm,” she cuddled further into her body pillow, wishing it was Rafa she was spooning.

“So if I tell you another woman kissed me tonight, you’d be completely understanding?”

_— BEEP BEEP BEEP —_

“Fuck,” Rafael whispered to himself.

 _— Olivia, the love of my life would like to FaceTime... —_ he picks up immediately.

“Another woman did what?” The dreary feeling of fatigue immediately pushed to the back of her mind. “I hope you told her your cop girlfriend will beat her ass—“

“Liv!” He couldn’t suppress his laughter a moment longer. “I love _you_ , you don’t have to worry.”

“Oh, no I’m gonna worry! My annoyingly handsome boyfriend is having women throw themselves at him while practically on the other side of the world and you think I’m gonna remain calm? Maybe you should bulk down until you come back home.” She rambles.

“Distance doesn’t mean a thing because you and I are committed to one another.”

“Are you saying no fuck boys or no thirsty bitches could ever come in between this?”

“Oye ye mama, you must be tired, you sounded like a millennial for a moment there.”

“I’m spending too much time with Kat and Lucy.” She shrugs. “Raf?”

“Liv?” He mocks lightly.

“Do you ever feel like the distance...is too much?”

“Our long-distance is different, we trust each other and we’ve both been fucked by old lovers—“

“I can’t wait to get fucked by you.” Her eyes widen, “Did I say that out loud?”

“You did mi amor,” he licked his lips while stifling a chuckle.

“I lose my filter after a certain point of exhaustion.” She huffs a sigh, expectantly.

“Maybe I should let you go before you say something else you might not want me to hear.” She could hear the smile in his voice as her eyes were already closing.

“No, I wanted you to hear it,” she yawned.

“Good, because I can’t wait either.” Her breath staggered, “Goodnight, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

“Olivia?” Rafael’s voice rips through the speaker.

“Rafa?” Olivia picks up the phone in a panic at the sound of his voice.

“Are you okay? Did you hurt your side?”

“How did you kno—“

“I randomly felt a sharp pain on my left side and all I could think of in that moment was you.”

“A perp pushed me in an attempt to flee and I slammed my hip into a metal round conference table, in his office.” She explains, “You felt that?”

“I feel what you feel when we’re far away?” He runs his hands through his hair. He was tired of this—the distance—the longing—the missing his girlfriend at all times of the day. He was tired of all it. He just wanted Olivia and the family he made with her and her son in every capacity.

“Don’t be sad Rafa, it’s only one more week. We can do it.” She soothes his worrying soul—even though he never expressed any of it out loud.

“I never said I was sad.”

“But aren’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

“I could...feel it I guess?” She ran her fingers over her bruised side. “This is weird.”

“I can’t wait to come home to you.”

“Me neither.”

* * *

_“Sometimes I feel like the universe wants us to break up.”_

**“What happened?”**

_“I’ve been extended another week.”_

_“Voter fraud. We’re living in a dystopian society.”_

**“It’s only a week, we’ll make it. We’ve already powered through seventeen. What’s one more?”**

_“But will I make it, Olivia? That’s the question.”_

_“I want to see your face.”_

**“Didn’t you just buy that expensive iPhone XXX or whatever? FaceTime saves us.”**

_“One more week.”_

**“One more week!”**

_“Nine more days.”_

**“Eight days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes, and 32, 31, 30 seconds.”**

_“I love you.”_

**“I know.”**

**“I love you more.”**

* * *

A quiet shuffling disturbs Olivia’s rest, “Rafa?” She calls out to the darkness as a warm all-encompassing presence enters her bedroom.

“Hi, my name is not important, I’m not from here I’m imported. I drink liquor like it’s water I hope my liver can afford it. And if you don’t mind I’ll be under the covers.” He mumbles sleepily.

“Am I dreaming?” Olivia threw the covers from on top of her legs, pulling Rafa down onto the mattress, “You aren’t supposed to be here for three more days.” She straddles his lap running her fingers through his thick beard.

“You tend to find that a lovesick middle-aged Cuban man gets shit solved quickly so he can come home to the love of his life as soon as possible.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, “Or maybe that’s just me.”

“You figured out voter fraud in six days?”

“I’d find the cure for cancer or solve world peace to get back to you, Olivia. You and Noah.”

He fell back onto the bed, Olivia laying directly on top of him, her head resting against his shoulder and the curve of his neck —one hand carding through his beard the other playing with the fluffy salt and pepper strands on his head. “Olivia?” He whispers her name as if the next thing to come from his mouth is something sacred.

“Hm?” He tilts his head down gazing into her golden chocolate eyes which were looking back into his burning green embers—which Olivia couldn’t help but notice were a hundred times more beautiful in person. His lips were on hers and before they could process was happening she kissed him back with a much higher intensity than his initial sweet languid kiss. He pulled her closer, breathing her in as if she was his only source of oxygen—his tongue traveled the lengths of her mouth as he explored each nook and cranny, no surface or crevice was left untasted. Olivia pulled away to catch her breath, she starts placing sloppy wet kisses along his jaw, neck, and chest.

“Olivia?”

“Hmm?” She mumbles making her way back up his body to the sensitive spot at the hollow of his throat, nibbling lightly before tracing the indentation with her tongue. She abandoned his suprasternal notch to nibble on his neck, biting down gently, making him groan.

“Happy birthday,” he said breathlessly.

“Best birthday gift, ever.” She mumbled against his jaw.

“Mm, I guess I was first after all,” he exhales before capturing her lips once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olivia's text are in bold, Rafael's in italics.


	22. Rocket Launch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short drabble inspired by a scene from thousand_miles' latest update of superman.

“Mommy! Mommy! Help!”

“Noah?” Olivia rounded the corner in haste to find, Noah hanging upside down, his chest pressed against Rafael’s back, his feet dangling over his father’s shoulder, as Rafael’s arm wrapped around his hips to keep his grasp firm.

“Papí just had a whole bowl of rice and black beans! He’s gonna fart on me!”

“Your son told me I look like the maduros are going straight to my hips."

"Now he's _my_ son?"

“Who raised him to be so catty?” Rafael fondly rolled his eyes.

"That was all you, honey." Olivia patted his chest.

“This is his punishment for calling me fat!” He stuck his tongue out, even though Noah couldn't see him.

“Mommy save me!”

“Oh, mi dulces hijo—you’ve lived a good life.” She patted his bum playfully as she walked away, “I want no part of this!”

“Mommy, no!” Noah broke out into a fit of giggles.

“The rocket launches, in 3—2—1!” Rafael unclenched his cheeks, a ripping sound escaping his anus.

“That sounded painful,” Olivia commented, as a wave of laughter washed over her.

“Oh—oh my god!” Noah began to gag and cough, “Papí are you kidding me!? Did you poop yourself?” Olivia was hunched over in laughter.

“Rafi, baby, you might want to check your underwear—that didn’t sound good!” Olivia chocked out between bouts of laughter.

Rafael set his son down, with wide eyes as Noah ran toward his mom for protection.

“Mommy!”

“Oh, no you don’t, Mr. Poopy Face!” Olivia ran off in the opposite direction of her son, his frenzied giggles hot on her tail. The smile plastered on her son's face flushed all thoughts of whatever she had been doing before she was summoned into the fart war, far from her mind.


	23. “You drive our Rafi a little crazy.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Olivia met Lucia Barba, but with a twist. And that twist is Catalina Diaz.

“Rafa, what the hell? Bail?” Olivia marched directly over to him without noticing the two older women crowding him.

“We’re lucky he didn’t get ROR’ed.” He rolled his eyes fighting off a smile.

“Oh—I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you speaking with...” Olivia smiles gently down at the women standing in Rafael’s space. The smaller older woman eyes her up and down with a smile plastered on her face.

“You must be Olivia,” She said so sweetly Olivia nearly melted, the undertones of a Cuban accent lingering in the air.

“Liv, this is my abuela, Catalina, and my mom, Lucia.”

“It’s so lovely to meet you two,” Olivia extends her hand, taking Catalina’s trembling one in between two of her own, fondly rubbing her thumb against her knuckles.

“You drive our Rafi a little crazy.” Olivia couldn’t help but blush at his mother’s comment.

“I wasn’t aware he spoke of me outside his nightmares.” She chuckled, “I’m just doing my job.”

“Please don’t ever stop making our Rafi happy.” She was straight forward yet gentle. “He hasn’t stopped smiling since the day he first met you—“

“Abeulita!”

“No, Rafi, let me say this...I may not be here for much longer.” He nodded wistfully. “Our Rafi, he is so timid but he hides it all under the overzealous confidence he uses as a mask. He is afraid to love and to be loved.” Lucia steps up closer to Catalina, wrapping a supportive arm around her mother’s waist. “He loves so hard and becomes so invested in the other—the way he’s taken up with you. We can’t ever get him to shut up about you, even when he’s mad those green eyes of his are twinkling so earnestly with love.” Olivia swallowed thickly, “Please don’t hurt my nieto, his love for you is so deep and genuine and ingrained into his way of being.” Catalina’s loose grip on Olivia’s hand tightened, “I’m just a little old lady who wants to see her only grandson finally get his happily ever after.” Olivia swallowed the tears burning in her throat.

“I love your grandson with my whole heart and never intend to hurt him, I want to be with him for as long as he’ll allow me.” She spoke softly not wanting any eavesdropping ears tuning into their private conversation. Olivia eyes her boyfriend, feeling the intensity of his gaze; a weight so deep she thought she was going to be crushed under it.

“Really?” Rafael now stood directly in front of his lover.

“If you wanted to tell me you love me, all you had to do was say it—you didn’t have to implore your loving and sweet grandmother to do your dirty work,” she chuckled through the tears.

“There’s no controlling these two, they say what they want, how they want, where they want, and whenever they want to say it.” Rafael thumbed away her slow falling tears.

“You had to get it from someone,” Lucia muttered earning a laugh from Olivia and an eye roll from her son.

“Look, Liv...I was afraid it was too soon and I didn’t want to ruin things or scare you off with these big intimidating feelings I have for you living inside of me.”

“No, Rafa. It’s never too soon considering the way _I_ feel about _you_.” She lovingly strokes the side of his arm, wanting nothing more than to kiss his perfectly pink lips—which she couldn’t as they still stood inside the courthouse.

“Olivia?” Catalina whispers as the group heads out the doors of the courthouse.

“Yes?”

“Now that we know nuestro Rafi is absolutely loco for you, you think you can do me a favor?”

“Sure,” Olivia rubs soothing circles into her back, Catalina melts into her touch.

“Can I meet mi futuro bisnieto antes de morir?” Olivia eyed her sadly.

“How about tomorrow morning for breakfast?”

“Muy perfecto! We can all meets at my place and maybe you can convince su novio to let me stay in my apartment.” Catalina lightly admonishes her grandson.

“I’ll try my hardest, but you know how difficult he can be at times.”

“You’re a woman, his woman—use your God-given gifts to persuade him!” Olivia's face reddened in surprise.

“Abuela!” Rafael nearly chocked.

“I like this one,” she winked at him, “Mantenla cerca, ella es un tesoro. Ella habla español, es respetuosa, muy honesta y te quiere mucho. ¡Una buena mujer es difícil de encontrar en estos días! Será mejor que te cases con esta mujer o la tendré con uno de tus primos!” Rafael groaned at his abuela’s insistence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had this written up since mid-June, I too, have no idea why I didn't just post it!
> 
> mi futuro bisnieto antes de morir? = my great-grandson before I die?
> 
> Mantenla cerca, ella es un tesoro. Ella habla español, es respetuosa, muy honesta y te quiere mucho. ¡Una buena mujer es difícil de encontrar en estos días! Será mejor que te cases con esta mujer o la tendré con uno de tus primos! = Keep her close, she's a treasure. She speaks Spanish, is respectful, very honest and loves you very much. A good woman is hard to find these days! You better marry this woman or I'll set her with one of your cousins!


	24. “The answer is always yes, Rafa.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A garnished Gazebo in the middle of central park can't be a coincidence.

“Oh Rafa, look! They’re beautiful!” Olivia’s eyes widen at the rose petal pathway leading up to white gazebo wrapped in green vines, accented with a bouquet of three dozen flowers—roses, daisies, tulips, lilies, and peonies, garnished with baby’s breath and gardenias.

“Let’s get a picture up here.” He laces his fingers between her own.

“Whose gonna take it?” She smiled goofily at the man she loved.

“Noah will, of course.” He smiled softly. “Won’t you mijo?”

“Si Papí!” Noah’s eyes light up as he nods his head eagerly.

“Noah is hardly 4—“

“And he takes a mean picture, mi amor.” Rafael quickly cuts her off. She obliges, with a shrug. Noah begins to snap away, shouting instructions from across the sidewalk, Olivia caught somewhere between bouts of laughter and rolling her eyes.

Rafael takes advantage of her distraction, catching his love off guard, planting a sweet one on her lips. In a moment she lost herself in the kiss, their lips and tongue fight a losing battle for dominance as they both concede as he pulled away, pulling her up the step of the gazebo, Noah takes a step back.

“Raf, no.” She tugged his arm. “Someone worked really hard on this, we can’t just capitalize off them.” She playfully smacks his chest. “What if we disturb something?” She watched Noah take another step away from them in curiosity as she made her way over to him.

“Momma, look!” He points in the direction she’d left her boyfriend standing in mere moments ago.

“Noah, come closer to momma and Papí please.”

“I will once you turn around,” he tugged her arm in his desired direction, capturing her wide eyed shocked expression before running back to his place to record.

“Rafa?” Tears spring to her eyes, she watched intently studying the figure down on one knee in front of her—the tears blurring her vision. Was this a mirage?

“Liv?” She nods wordlessly. “I’m not as young as I used to be, would you mind joining me up here?” She slowly gravitates toward him. He pulls a velvet box out of pants pocket.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I didn’t ask yet,” the glimmer in his eyes reflected the playful nature of the smirk playing on his face. “This may come as a surprise, but I've developed feelings for you,” they both chuckled.

“Rafa, you’re old, get up.” She pulled at his extended arm, he stubbornly ignored her pleas, remaining firmly played on the ground.

“If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.” He kissed each knuckle lingering on the ring finger for a heart beat longer than the others. “I had this whole grandiose speech planned, but since you’re impatient and my knee is throbbing I’ll keep it short. In the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known — and even that is an understatement.’ You are the love of my life Olivia and the best mother to my son I could ever ask for. I don’t need anything else in life if you do me this one favor. Will you marry me and be my wife everyday, for better or for worse? For richer or for poorer? In sickness and health? Through petty insignificant fights and the major blow ups? Until death do us part?” Olivia nodded tearfully.

“The answer is always yes, Rafa.” Rafael sprung to his feet, wrapping his arms around her waist, spinning them around in utter glee and jovial cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am roughly two weeks away from uni graduation, so if anyone is still out there reading my works, I promise I will be back if you just stick with me; going through my notes I found so many unfinished ficlets/one-shots that I am dying to work on! I may post a few today if they seem good enough as is! This one is unfinished and I will be coming back to edit but really wanted to get something up because I miss my Barson babies!


	25. Dizzy Spell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't quite finished school yet but I am head of schedule and thought why not finish up something I already started and post it! I hope you guys enjoy it.

“Rafa, I don’t need to be here right now!” Olivia folds her arms stubbornly across her chest, trying her hardest not to pout—failing miserably.

“Like hell, you aren’t, this is your fourth dizzy spell this week!” He rolls his eyes at his wife acting like a petulant child, not even sparing her a glance as he flipped through the women’s health magazines.

“In my defense it’s Friday, last week I had six by Wednesday, I’m doing better.” Olivia squirmed uncomfortably in the hard plastic seat surrounded by sterile white walls and chillingly crisp hospital air.

“Olivia.” Rafael admonished his wife. “You’ve missed your last three appointments.”

“Duty calls.” She shrugged.

“You haven’t had a check-up in months. _Months_ , Liv.” She avoided his worry-filled gaze. “Baby,” his resolve melts. “Look at me please,” he places a delicate thumb under her chin, moving her into his line of sight, “I don’t mean to be harsh, I’m just worried about you, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry you’re right—I need to take better care of myself. For you. For Noah.”

“Olivia.” A thick curly-haired nurse with pale skin and piercing deep green eyes called out. The couple rose to their feet, hand in hand. “Good morning, I’m Carol Ross and I’m the nurse practitioner, Dr. Elizabeth Greene will be in with you shortly, but first let me get your vitals while you briefly tell me why you came in today.”

“Well, I’ve been a bit dizzy—“

“A bit?” Olivia rolls her eyes at her husband. “She’s making a routine out of it, it’s been several weeks and her regular physician can’t seem to get her to stick to an appointment so I cornered her this morning and dragged her here against her will.” Carol’s eyes widened.

“He’s my husband.” Olivia clarified quickly.

“Do you consent to me drawing blood?” Carol smiled softly.

“Blood? For a check-up? Isn’t that a bit much?” Olivia chewed on her bottom lip.

“We just want to check every possibility. How long has it been since your last check-up?” Rafael crossed his arms as Olivia grabbed the clipboard, signing the consent form for the clinic to draw and test her blood for a plethora of things as she scanned the list.

“Eighteen months,” she mumbled under her breath.

“Yeah, missy we need to get you checked out.” Carol smiles sweetly while prepping to draw the blood.

“Babe, you might want to have a seat,” Olivia smirks, as she teases her lover.

“Why?”

“You know how you get around blood.”

“I get away around blood?”

“Yeah, squeamish.”

“I see blood all the time.”

“Doesn’t mean you _don’t_ get squeamish.”

“I do _not_ get squeamish.”

“Can you just come hold my damn hand already?”

“I knew you had an ulterior motive, Olivia.”

“Yeah, yeah, somehow my fingers are still cold.” Rafael and Carol chuckled at her sass, taking a seat next to Olivia, the blood draw came to an end.

“I love you.” He planted a sweet kiss on the side of her head.

“I’m not dying, Barba. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” She craned her neck, connecting her lips to his in a languid kiss.

“You two are just too cute.” Carol gushes as she labeled the tubes of blood and sent them off for testing. “Those results should be back in 20 to 45 minutes. Now if you won’t mind taking off your outermost layer of clothing, shoes, and accessories and hopping up on the scale for me.” Liv followed the directions, her eyes nearly bulging out of her head at the sight of the number on the digital scale. “Is everything alright?” Carol read her tense body language.

“I put on fourteen pounds?” Olivia’s voice filled with anxious astonishment.

“You have?” Barba sat up straighter.

“Like you haven’t noticed.” She rushed back into her seat, in self-conscious worry.

“Well, that’s because I haven’t?” He treaded lightly in this dangerous territory.

“That’s it, I’m going on a strict diet and upping my workout routine.”

“And when will your son see you?”

“When I drop these fourteen pounds.”

“Olivia, you’re beautiful just the way you are.”

“Rafael, you’re my husband, you have to say that.” The pout overwhelming her face made him grin from ear to ear.

* * *

“Okay, Good morning! I’m Dr. Elizabeth Greene!” A sweet smiling, blue-eyed, curly-haired, British Doctor entered the room. “And you must be Olivia! I have your results here and they show low levels of iron, calcium, vitamin d, and iodine. That’s not good Olivia, you’re about fourteen weeks along.”

“Fourteen weeks along with what?” Shock evident in her voice.

“With your pregnancy, of course, silly.”

“I’m pregnant?” A biting silence fills the room.

“She’s pregnant?” Rafael’s green eyes immediately find the crystal blues of the physician.

“Wait—you two didn’t know?” Their silent shocked faces spoke loud enough for their wordless mouths. “Well, I guess congratulations are in order.”

“Wait—wait—wait! How can I be pregnant?”

“Olivia, you’re in remarkable health—aside from a slightly elevated blood pressure—you have the internal system of a 30-year-old.” Doctor Greene couldn’t seem to tamp down her smile.

“I—I wasn’t able to get pregnant for the last 30 years.” Tears began to well in Olivia’s eyes.

“Perhaps, you weren’t with the right one yet,” Dr. Greene smiled hopefully, “Your babies are healthy and developing normally without the prenatal.”

“I’m sorry—did you say, babies?” Rafael’s face loses all pigment. “As in more than one?” The doctor nods jovially. He shoots to his feet, ready to pace holes in the floor but Olivia doesn’t untangle her fingers, desperate to have her husband near.

“So they’re healthy?” Olivia finally finds her voice.

“Perfectly healthy.” The pink of her lips accentuates her pearly whites beaming at the new parents.

“But just how many buns does she have in her oven?” Olivia glared daggers at him.

“Just two I promise.”

“We have twins, Rafa.” Olivia chuckled briskly through her tears.

“Twins?” His sparkling greens find her tearful browns. Any traces of panic stirring in his chest quickly vanished at the sight of his elated wife. “We made those?” The tears in his eyes form furiously but he refused to let them fall.

“Rafa, I’m pregnant,” Olivia repeats in astonishment as a fresh set of tears cascade down her cheeks.

“That you are,” he cups her face, thumbing away her tears. “With _our_ babies.” He whispered to himself.


	26. Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia's having a hard time paying attention.

“Olivia, are you listening to me at all?” Rafael melted in his chair, arms crossed against his bulging chest. 

“Hm?” She blinks into focus, “I’m sorry were you saying something?” Her cheeks heat up, looking away from his burning gaze as the reddening of her face deepens. 

“So I take you weren’t paying attention?” His smirk grows tenfold. 

“Either take off the suspenders or put your suit jacket back on, because right now I want to peel you out of your clothes in the middle of your office.” Pinching her nose bridge, she smiles up at him through her thick lashes. Barba rises from his chair, propping himself on the edge of his desk, stationed directly in front of her. 

“Tonight, mi amor.” His left-hand cups the side of her face. 

“Tonight,” she all but moans to herself, melting into his touch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short, but I wrote something super quick during one of my studying/paper writing/finals breaks so I could pose a question.  
> I was thinking of running a mini-series within this drabble/one-shot/ficlet collection. How does that sound? I was thinking maybe continuing the pregnancy universe, but my main train of thought is I have an idea that I am not really committed into making a whole fic but still want to write: Married at First Sight: New York. Does that sound like something anyone would be interested in reading?


	27. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause

”Rafa—“ Olivia gasped, utter shock overwhelms her as she shakes with the laughter buzzing through her core. “What are you wearing?” She managed to ask in between bouts of uncontrollable merriment. 

“Hm, don’t you want to sit on Santa’s lap?” Rafael’s smirk beams under the ringlets of snow-white facial hair adorning his face. The synthetic white whirls of curls were just a bit too perfect, harshly contrasting the ostentatious shade of red ornamenting his Santa’s suit along with the size too small hat on his head; the mane nearly blended into the faux beard, covering the actual scruff that usually takes residence on the face, which Olivia must admit, she thoroughly adored.

“Oh, I don’t know Santa, have I been naughty this year?” She bites her lip, assuming the role of naïveté. 

“Come take a seat and Santa will tell you!” Santa suggestively pats the area near his inner thigh, sending a wink in her direction.

“Oh, yeah?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” his train of thought escaped him once he gets a lap full of Olivia Benson—she wriggles trying to find the most comfortable position completely aware of the effect her actions have on her hardening husband. He stills her, placing his hands on her hips, gazing into thebrowns so warm and golden they’re best described as the color of the sun's kisses, the ultimate form of **love** wrapped up in heated warmth unveiling compassion and silent understanding in the sun's favor—a flutter in the depths of her pools of unsedated honey forced him to blink, finally remembering their surroundings. “This suit is a rental, ya know.”

“I’ve never known you to rent a suit in your life.” She whispers, adjusting her body’s placement one last time, placing her inner thighs up against the cheap red velvet clinging to his outer thighs as she straddles his lap. The moment is intense, quiet—what started as a joke filling the room with her volcanic laughter soon evolved into something more. She could feel the heat emanating from him under the low lit LEDs of the Christmas tree reflecting in his crystal clear emerald green eyes. And like a magnet, she was drawn in closer to him until their lips finally met.

In a battle for dominance, the two unsuspecting parents didn’t notice their curly-haired son watching the affair unfold with tears brimming his eyes.

“Take me to bed,” she mumbled into his mouth, as they shuffle off of the couch without breaking the kiss, Noah turns on his heels, fighting through tears he locks his door. With his back pressed against the cold mahogany, he allows the sobs to rip through him, crashing to the floor he hikes his knees up to his chest and holds himself together.

* * *

The next morning arrives in the Barba household, it’s the morning before Christmas. Olivia awakes with an extra spring in her step, she rolls out of her lover’s arms, throwing on the onesie he peeled her out of the night before, she hurries to the kitchen to make her handsome men breakfast to start Christmas Eve off with a bang. The aroma of eggs and cumin filled the apartment, drawing a hungry Rafael out of bed.

“What’s gotten into you this morning?” His voice brings a sense of tranquility over her, an even wider grin spreads across her face.

“The Christmas spirit, of course, silly!” He smirks, wrapping his arm around his jolly wife, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“You sure it wasn’t my—“

“Good morning, my sweet sweet boy!” Olivia giggles at the tickle of Rafael nibbling on the junction of her neck and shoulder. “I made your favorites! Blueberry pancakes with banana slices on top and hot cocoa with extra whipped cream!” Olivia’s holiday spirit is contagious, unable to not be giddy when in her presence—well anyone except her own son.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, crossing his arms on the kitchen table and resting his head in the crease. Olivia’s smile falters.

“Oh? Um—“ her son’s lack of enthusiasm is out of the ordinary—uncharacteristically him, catching her by surprise. “Are you excited to see what Santa’s bringing you tomorrow morning?” Olivia is nearly knocked off of her feet by her son’s reaction.

“I just wish stupid Santa would stay in the stupid North Pole and leave me alone!”

“Hey, there mijo.” Rafael kneels beside his son, rubbing soothing circles into his back as his son tries to stifle his sniffles.

“I’m sorry Papí,” Noah mumbles into the folder crease in his arm.

“Can you look at me,” Rafael encourages his son to sit up, “Please?” Noah immediately throws his arms around his father's neck. “Hey, there, is everything alright?”

“I’m sorry, please don’t leave us!” He sobbed with a twinge of acrimony in his tone.

“Noah, I’m not going anywhere. You know that.” He speaks slowly and without bite to his son. Noah pulls away, searching his father’s honest greens for a hint of malice or dishonesty.

“You promise?” He all but begs.

“Hang tight, I’m going to go grab something.” He ruffled his son’s curls before exiting the room.

“Do you have a headache, sweetie?” Olivia’s exterior softened in worry.

“No.” His reply is curt. “Why didn’t Papí promise me he was going to stay?” His tone was accusatory and filled with raw unabridged anger.

“Noah—“

“How could you do that? Now Rafa is going to leave and I’m not going to have a daddy again!”

“Excuse me?” Olivia’s eyes nearly fly out of her head. Noah shoots out of his seat, taking off toward his room, slamming the door behind him. “Noah!” Olivia quickly marches after him before being intercepted by her inquisitive eyed husband.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Rafael lightly wrapped his arm around her slender waist, gently guiding his razzled wife in the opposite direction of their distressed son’s meltdown.

“You probably know more than I do.” She ran her fingers through her still-semi-matted-from-sex-hair. “Isn’t he a little too young to hate me already? I mean he’s 8, how am I the bad guy?” Her confusion is masked by frustration.

“Let’s put breakfast in the oven to stay warm and give him a minute to process his actions and calm down a bit, then _we_ can ask him, how does that sound?”

“Like the rational thing to do,” she rolls her eyes as he pulls her in for a hug.

Olivia reluctantly pulls away from the warm embrace, moving toward the table, frowning at her son’s untouched breakfast. What could she have done that was so bad? Her eight-year-old son lashed out at her, _specifically_. He’d clung to Rafael, quite literally. Had she been too harsh the day before? She couldn’t even recall reprimanding him in the passing weeks, Noah was generally and good-tempered, well mannered, happy go lucky well behaved little boy. Mood swings? Never.

“Liv?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been staring at that mug of hot cocoa in your hands for the past 15 minutes. I’d started to think you froze,” he placed his hand at the small of her back. “Talk to me.” He prompts her.

“What did I do, Rafa? He _never_ gets this riled up over nothing.”

“Well that’s something we have to ask him, isn’t it?”

“He doesn’t want to speak to me.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“Well he’s eight, and you're his mom—he doesn’t have much of an option now does he?” Olivia sighed woefully, following her husband’s lead.

_Noah’s Room!_

The handmade sign obviously customized to an eight-year-old liking brought Olivia to tears, she’d gotten so angry with him earlier—he’s just a child. She would’ve lashed out at him if Rafael hadn’t stopped her. Is she any better than her own mother?

“Liv,” Rafael’s worried gaze bore into her as if he just knew what she was thinking.

Olivia looks away from her worrywart of a husband, “Noah?” She knocks gently, “Can I come in?” The voice is unsteady, she’s unsure of herself as a mother, and she can’t figure out the source—maybe that intensified the feeling of sorts.

“No, go away!” He cried, muffled into his pillow.

“Noah, mijo, please?” Rafa stepped in, moments later shuffling is heard and the bedroom door lock is turning hesitantly. Slowly the door opened, Noah peeks out to see his red-eyed mother behind his father, the anger surges in him once again, he goes to slam the door but Rafael’s foot wedged into the door opening, nipping that idea in the bud. Why did she get to cry? _She’s_ the one who _cheated_ on _his dad_ by kissing Santa Clause. “Can we talk? Can you open the door?”

“No, I don’t want her in here.”

“Noah, you’re hurting mommy’s feelings by saying that.”

“Well, she hurt mine first!” He crossed his arms, letting go of the doorknob, the door swings open a little easier.

“Oh, yeah? Mind telling me how?” Rafael knew his wife was a tearful mess behind him, trying her best to hold it together.

“Promise you won’t leave? No matter what?” Noah’s insecurities bubble over into his speech.

“Do you know what I went to get?” Noah shakes his head slowly, “Here take a look,” Rafael hands Noah a large frame, with two sheets of paper: one is his marriage license the other the certificate of Noah’s adoption. “These are the promises I made to you and mommy, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health, till death do us part—I will be your mommy’s husband the same way I will always be your Papí. Not even wild horses can keep me away.” Noah teared up, hugging his father, wrapping all four limbs around his dad’s torso.

“I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause, last night.” Noah blurted, he felt the weight of the world had been lifted from his heart. “She called him Daddy, but he’s not my daddy! You are!” Olivia’s cheeks reddened at the sudden realization.

“Oh, Noah, my love. Mommy wasn’t kissing Santa Clause last night.” Noah excavated his head from the crook of his father’s neck.

“Yes, she was! I saw them last night, on the couch!” He insisted this wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

“No, mijo, you saw me in a Santa costume playing a prank on mommy. Mommy was kissing me last night on the couch.”

“So she didn’t kiss someone else? Just you in a pretend suit?” Noah’s hopeful blues radiating. Rafael nods confidently. “So she was calling you daddy last night?” Heat traveled from his neck to his cheeks.

“Yes, my dulce niño.” Rafael shifted Noah onto his hip. “I think you owe someone an apology for being rude and hurting their feelings.” Noah slid down his father's side, silence overtaking the apartment.

“I’m sorry mommy,” Noah hurled himself into his mother’s arms, nearly knocking her onto her ass. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I love you so much.” She clasped him so tightly they nearly merged into one person—he was her little boy, and the thought that she could bring him any type of pain felt like a lashing straight to her heart. “I hope you aren’t mad at me because I ruined Christmas by making you cry.” She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of his shampoo, hoping she could rid any lingering hurt he held inside him with this hug.

“You didn’t ruin Christmas, baby—I promise,” she left a wet kiss on his forehead. “I would _never_ do anything to hurt our perfect little family, always remember that my love.” He melted further in his mother’s arms.

“And neither will I, mijo. Everything we need is right here.” Rafael stood to the side, digesting the view of _his_ family. Noah’s grumbling tummy overpowered the sentimental moment.

“Are the blueberry pancakes with a banana sliced on top and hot cocoa with _extra_ whipped cream still an option?” 

“Just like your dad, thinking with your stomach.” Olivia ruffles his hair, carrying him to the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for bearing with me! I finished university today! I have some paperwork to get through before I'm fully degreed, but I finally have more time to write but this next weekish may be hectic, but I am so excited for this break from academia before I start the next chapter in my life. 
> 
> I am sorry I wasn't able to respond to comments on the mini-series, but they will be happening! I will respond to comments in the near future I promise, but for now, its time for me to catch up on sleep, I hope you all enjoy.


	28. Dizzy Spell Universe: Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 of the Dizzy Spell Universe: Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still contemplating how I’ll be setting up the miniseries but for now I’m feeling this set up :3

“Jesus Christ, I look like one of those gaudy overstuffed life-size whale prizes you win at the carnival!” Olivia throws her head back in frustration, borderline breakdown. “How can you even look at me? I’m huge!” Her eyes fill with tears, but she wills them away, refusing to cry  _again_.

Barba sat there straight face while she sobbed over fully sweetened 80 calorie _Silk_ almond milk that was much _too thick_ and much _too sweet!_ He didn’t dare tell her they all practically tasted the same, because to Olivia’s pregnancy bionic taste buds, they are  _not_ the same! The semisweet 30 calories vanilla _Blue Diamond_ almond milk she was used to didn’t make her cringe when she added powdered sugar to her unsweetened corn flakes in the morning, why didn’t she just get Frosted Flakes with sweetened milk? The world will never know. Because Barba knew better than to argue or question her eating habits. The almond milk meltdown lasted twenty-eight minutes. 

“It’s like I can’t stop eating!” She glares at the mustard covered pickle sitting on the grease-stained paper plate in front of her. 

“Honey, you’re pregnant. You’re eating for three now—“

“You don’t think I know that, Rafa? My breasts are always sore— they’re freaking engorged, my feet have swollen 13 sizes, and I can’t shave my own honeypot anymore!” Olivia snaps unexpectedly. Rafael’s eyebrows rise slightly, as he bites the inside of his cheek suppressing every sassy comeback pliéing across his sharp-witted tongue. His facial expression dancing the line of upset. 

“Olivia. Your body is going through changes—a lot of them. You’re carrying twins. You’re halfway through this—then you’ll never have to ask me to shave your _honeypot?_ again.” His intonation changes, never hearing his wife refer to her lady bits as a honeypot before. Where’d she even learn that?

Tears seared her eyes, she allowed them to fall this time. He was so understanding, never raising his voice at her even when she deserved it. He’d even offered to run back to the store during a thunderstorm to get her the milk she wanted. 

Maybe he simply needed a break from her tyranny—the never-ending crying, the hours of complaining, attempting to fulfill her every random craving— and _oh God_ _,_ the damned mood swings. 

Or maybe he just loved her  _that_ much. He did vow for better or for worse. Richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. Hell until death do them part. And he meant it. Rafael Barba would allow nothing to tear them apart. His love for Olivia is so beyond pragmatic, she herself never got the full extent of how deep his love for her is interwoven into his being. And this thought alone made her cry harder. 

“I’m sorry Rafa, these babies are turning me into a monster! I waddle all over the damn place badgering you with the most ridiculous demands—you must hate me! I can’t bend down anymore, I burst into tears when my coffee’s cold in the middle of the squad room, I lash out at you!” The tears Olivia was doing terribly at holding back came flooding down her cheeks. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright. I know you don’t mean it. I know your brain and body are jumbled because you have two babies growing inside you, and that’s a lot of hormonal changes. If a little lashing out is what I have to tolerate to show my thanks, for your body going through so much, then so be it.” He shrugs leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. 


	29. Passcodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia didn't know Rafael was so sentimental. Rafael never expected Olivia to get emotional.

“Barba, for the life of me I can’t get into your iPad.” Olivia plops belly first onto his expensive leather couch.

“Still calling me Barba, eh?” Rafael rolls his eyes fondly.

“Sorry, a force of habit, Rafa.” Olivia’s cheeks flush a deep shade of crimson.

It’d been a solid two weeks of this new facet of their ever-growing relationship. They’d been going on dates every single day for the past seventeen days. Today’s adventure of choice is Sunday brunch at Rafael’s.

“Why do you need my iPad passcode anyway?” He side-eyed her, playfully as he pressed his thumb to the home button the iPad unlocking instantly.

“Why? Do you have something to hide?” Olivia smirks, squinting her eyes. “Maybe a Rolodex of gorgeous women and handsome men?”

“None more astounding than the lady here before me.”

“I’ll be sure to look into that.” She chuckles, pursing her lips, signifying to her newfound lover to press a kiss onto her receptive appendages. After planting a languid kiss on her mouth, he plops down next to her, casually resting his arm behind on the couch, subconsciously, she melts into his side.

“All that fuss to go on YouTube?” He raises a single eyebrow.

“Fuss?” She snorted. “Fuss and somehow I still don’t have the passcode.” She spares him a glance. “Keep acting suspicious, Rafael and I’ll go searching through your messages.” She gently bumps him with her shoulder.

She’d never suspect Rafael Barba of cheating. He has always treated Olivia as if she was so far out of his league and she was doing him a favor by agreeing to go out with him. When in truth, Olivia has never had another person love her so thoroughly and abundantly as her best friend has. He treats her and her son like royalty—she never wanted to lose that.

“My son is addicted to Ryan’s toy review.” Olivia groaned. “He’s being fussy and his iPad is dead. I’ll admit I’m guilty of using a screen to help raise my kid. “

“Hmph,” he chuckles “You don’t want to know the amount of screen time I allow when he gets antsy and I have a pretrial motion to finish.” She glares at him playfully.

“You’re why he’s addicted.”

“Guilty as charged.” He shrugs nonchalantly. He peers down at the darkened screen, “071111”

“I’m sorry?” Olivia turns her head in his direction as Noah silently comes waddling over to the cuddled adults, reaching for the tablet.

“071111,” he repeats. “That’s the passcode.” He smiles down at Noah, pulling him off his feet and into his lap, is his thumb to unlock the iPad for the giggly three-year-old bouncing with glee.

“071111? That’s a bit basi—“ Olivia’s realization hits her all at once. Tearing her gaze away from his brooding face, she bites down on her bottom lip. “Is that—“ she suddenly gets choked up, “Is that the day we met?” Tears form in her eyes, threatening to fall over. Trouble bubbles in his green orbs.

“Does that make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry Liv, I’ll change it.” He insists, speaking in a single breath.

“No!” She startles little Noah, ripping his attention away from the video on his lap he looks at his teary-eyed momma.

“Ma ‘kay?”

“Yes sweet boy, momma is okay. She’s more than okay.” She pushes the curls out of his face, smiling down at her son. “These are happy tears. Momma is so happy.”

“Unc Raf may ma ‘appy?” He looks between the two adults he loves most in the world.

“Uncle Rafa makes momma the happiest she’s ever been.”


	30. Tacet Familiaritate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tacet familiaritate Latin for 'silent intimacy' or 'familiarity is silent.'

The day had been rough for two-thirds of the Barba family. Rafael had long fed, bathed, and put his son to bed. Now he sat with his feet propped on the coffee table, staring off into the distance—not actually thinking of anything in particular as his mind ran rampant. Scrubbing his face with both his hands in exhausted frustration, he exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding.

He missed his Partner. But summer in the city had always been a chaotic time at SVU. Having to console a sobbing six-year-old who just wanted his mommy to tend to his bleeding knee and kiss him goodnight had never been a task Rafael thought he’d have to tackle alone.

Olivia silently slipped through the front door expecting to find an unlit empty living room. Spotting Rafael on the couch with his face cupped in his hands, she dropped her purse at the entryway after turning the lock. She peeled herself out of the blazer as she toed off her heeled boots. She unbuttoned her trousers, kicking them off, as she slipped out of her blouse—leaving her in an undershirt and spanks.

Undeterred, she marched over to the couch, bending her legs to straddle her lover's lap, she rested both her knees at his waist as they sank naturally into the couch. There was no suggestion in her steps, only a dire need for closeness. Shifting her weight onto his lap she took her right hand, caressing the softness of his cooled cheek before burrowing her head into the crook of his neck.

His lips slowly kissed a path from the reddening heated skin of her shoulder up to her semi-chiseled jaw. He melted into her embrace, his ear pillowed against the doughy flesh of her tinted cheeks. Her hands gravitate toward his back, snugly wrapping herself around him. His center of gravity shifts as his left-hand cradles the center of her back and his right-hand rubs soothing circles into the black spandex holding in her expansive ass.

Nothing in the moment was sexually heightened. Neither dared to move. They’d sought closeness—silent, unspoken, unabridged intimacy.

Mere moments away from sleep, with clothing and personal items scattered across the floor, the couple absorbed and relinquished the other’s tension—falling into each other was enough.


	31. Dizzy in Disneyworld

“Mom! It was so awesome! The jeep was jerking around, and—and there was a lot of sharp turns and big drops.” Noah bounced excitedly, gripping onto his mother’s arm, carefully avoiding the bulge in her stomach.

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.” Olivia placates her over-enthusiastic son.

“It just kept going.” Barba groaned, trailing wearily behind the exuberant curly headed boy.

“Wow.” Her concerned browns raked his feeble stance. “You okay?”

“Great.” He blinked in slow motion. “Why wouldn't I be?” He pressed his entire body into her side, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.

“Because you're kinda leaning on me.”

“Well, isn't that what a marriage is?”

“Oh?” Olivia pulled away, reaching out to catch a spirited Noah.

“Ohh—“ Barba stumbles, losing his balance.

“You look like hell.” She informed him without turning around, that earned her an eye roll while she attended to Noah.

“I'm just feeling a little dizzy. I think that ride did something to me.”

“The fluid in your inner ear is thickening. That's what happens when you get old.”

“It is?” He eyes her suspiciously.

“Yeah, you can't take the motion. Take my word for it, I gotta pop a Dramamine to get in my swivel chair.”

“That is not it. I'm the king of the roller coasters. I think Noah put too big of a whipped cream smile on my Mickey Mouse pancake this morning.”

“You guys wanna go on Matterhorn?” Noah escapes his mother’s grasp as he gazes up at the metal contraption in astonishment.

“Noah, I think your dad is gonna sit this one out, with me maybe get one of them big pickles, we can share it.” She smiles cheekily at her lover.

“No! You're gonna have to eat that pickle on your own, my love. I still got a few good years left.” He jokes, “Noah, wait up! I'll race you there!” Rafael takes off, only sturdy in his feet for seconds before he gets dizzy “I'm good. I'm good.” He reassures the mother and son duo.


	32. Spandex Galore

“Olivia!” Rafael circled back into the room, his eyes immediately landing on his smirking beauty laying on the bed under a thick quilt tucked under her arms, glasses perched on her nose bridge as she is consumed by her latest trashy romance novel. “I can’t find any of my sweat pants,” he eyed her suspiciously as her smile only seemed to grow wider and wider.

“Oh?”

“Liv, what’d you do?”

“Why do we assume that I did anything?” She nibbled on her bottom lip.

“God knows you have an awful Poker face whenever you try to be mischievous.” He fondly rolled his eyes.

“Mischievous?”

“Olivia,” he groaned. “Can we cut out the middle man, not that I don’t enjoy this concupiscent verbal foray we share, but my muscles have been tense and I need to go work them out.”

Silently Olivia scoffed, throwing black spandex at his face. They land squarely on the top of his head, covering one of his sparkling eyes.

“Biker shorts? Is this a joke?”

“Try them on and model it for me,” her tone thick with teasing.

“Olivia if I go out in these, I’ll get arrested for indecent exposure.”

“Somehow you still aren’t slipping into that risqué little number for me,” she turned the page of her book, not once looking up at his reaction.

“If I try this on, will you give me my Adidas joggers?”

“If you give me a show.” She folded the top corner of the page to mark her spot, Barba slid the tight black fabric up over his legs, the spandex sculpting his toned thighs. Barba followed Olivia’s line of sight, landing directly on his bulging package.

“Am I supposed to feel so violated?” He prodded but she didn’t speak a word, silently she licked her lips breathing in his full appearance. “I’m feeling a bit objectified.” His sarcasm fell on deaf ears. “Sort of like a piece of meat in the market—“

“Meat doesn’t talk.” She finally interjected, the surprise on his face made her smirk. “Shirt off.” She demanded and he complied. “Now do a 180.” He bites his lip turning about-face. “Wonderful.” She all but moaned. “It’s a shame really.”

“What is?” he choked out, trying his absolute hardest to mask the arousal in his tone.

“You never let me see that big juicy booty anymore,” the tightening of the spandex around his firm cheeks could only mean one thing. “If you really want to make momma happy bend over and grab that book for me?” She launched the novel across the room, it landed a few inches in front of him. Fortunately for Barba, he was faced away from Olivia, so she couldn’t see his ridiculously hardened erection and the intense reddening of his cheeks. “Slowly...” she encouraged, as she flicked the sheets off her heated skin.

“Liiv,” he moaned, “I can’t do this if you’re only teasing right now.” He spoke slowly, growling almost, his voice low and drenched in sultry arousal.

“Turn around and see for yourself.” She spoke barely above a whisper. Consciously, he turned, his jaw nearly hitting the floor. There Olivia lay completely in the nude. His eyes devoured her nude form, studying her physique as if it were the first he’d ever seen of it. “Come here, I’ll stretch you out.”


End file.
